Not always. Certain family members are still trying to cure my type 1 diabetes. Which hurts me mentally because I know it's not curable. But other family members do because my mom and me are basically twins so she knows what I'm going through physically. Just not mental health wise. But she is trying to understand. And that's what matters.
No. Not even a little. They still think I’m being dramatic, that I’m making it up, that it’s “all in my head,” or that I’m exaggerating the symptoms for sympathy. I don’t even talk to them anymore because of this….
I stopped telling my mother anything rested to my health for the sake of our relationship. Going to doctors and taking prescriptions seems like a full time job at this point. It’s hard to have a social life and make plans
Nope!!! And while it's difficult sometimes to help them understand; I, honestly, would never want ANYONE to understand. To understand would only come from experience and I don't wish that on anyone.
I'll just be happy if they listen (even if they do sometimes confuse my mental health conditions with symptoms of drug addiction and try an intervention ROFL)
I dont think anybody can have a good idea without dealing with all of the conditions by themselves. My family knows what I have and what I've gone through medically but they definitely don't realize how hard it is emotionally.
My friends and family have shown many interest in my disease and in everything I went through. Nevertheless none of them have any idea how its actually feels, they don't see all the struggles at different times in my life.
Unequivocally NO! I have been suffering from fibromyalgia for several years. One of the most challenging feelings I face is the feeling of misunderstanding and containment of my disease by the people closest to me. I do not know if it is because of an illness that was previously defined mainly mentally or because it is a disease that cannot be seen, but most of the time, the feeling I get from them is that I am exaggerating.
hey I have chronic pain too! I may not understand your level of pain but I definitely understand what you're going through with this! Feel free to message me if you want.
My friends don't understand that I have a chronic disease that causes me pain. If I don't meet them for a while because of my condition, they think that I don't want to hang out with them, they are angry with me.
Most of my family the same condition or similar, so yes. Only, they all have had the same problems so they thought it was all normal. I kind of worry that one day it won’t go well if anything big happens, like they’ll miss something that was life threatening because they thought it was normal (or they didn’t feel the pain as intensly because some of them really don’t).
No. They're not supportive. My mom does support me financially and some of my siblings get upset that I have satellite TV and half way decent possessions. They think I'm lazy and ungrateful. They all have new houses and new cars but resent me? I am in such poor health , I can't work, I can barely take care of my daily needs, I've had to declare bankruptcy. Would they like to trade? A few years ago, I left the religion the rest of my family is in, Jehovah's Witnesses, and now they all shun me. I came very close to killing myself. I can't even ask them to help clean my house or give me a ride to the doctor. I feel so betrayed by them. They weren't there for me when I needed them most and they still aren't, they probably will never see or speak to me again. Freaking heartless.
They not only have no idea what this conceivably is like they actively do not believe me. After 28 years of never having spoken once to a dr or therapist they called a 5150 on me because they did not believe I was the victim of an attempted rape (that was reported to police, had physical evidence). My bio children (mid 30s) are the source of my greatest trauma.
Hi SAJE! Great question🤗 we are currently working on a new version of the app which will allow "reply to reply" and hope to roll it out in the coming month. Stay tuned for this and some other amazing features to come!🙌
No. My mother especially has always been horrible accommodating my needs as a disabled person, and fails to understand my differences from her autism to my own. She is especially bad when it comes to DID and BPD.
Nope not at all, I feel werid to sit down an explain it to anyone. My husband is the only one I think understands most as he is with me all the time. My sister understands my PCOS and thinks she might have it as well. The EDS and possibly POTS I would have to explain it and I'm still learning about it myself as they are new diagnoses
Absolutely not....the hubs acts like it gets on his nerves....with certain other people it's a toss between trying to be understand and just nodding along as I tell the things....
this can be a huge problem in a relationship. It’s not good to have someone that disregards what you’re going through. I’m got here to tell you to leave them but they seriously need to reconsider how they act towards you.
Not at all. They all try to understand when I'm vulnerable and in my sad swings but as soon as it is anything to do with me getting angry, immediately all of the understanding goes out the window and I am just a horrible person who can't control myself to them. It is more discouraging than anything.
The ones who are the closest to me like my husband, my parents and my best friend from high school know about all of my mental history and struggles but the majority of people in my life don't even know my background.
Nope. I have one friend and a cousin that have similar conditions but other than that I'm an alien, lazy, or mental health case. Nothing less and nothing more
Honestly no one that doesn't live with our conditions can every really know what we go through but they should read up on it to try to understand as much as possible to understand what they can and shouldn't do.
My family and best friends have gone through a long way when it comes to my UC. They know me really well, when I suffer and need help, or when I need to spend some time alone. Still, they will never get the pain. My sister on the other hand has Crohn’s disease and it is so easy to speak to her. They sometimes get frustrated when they can’t do anything to help us…
Not at all. My dad is still convinced my mast cell spiked so bad because of stress (only stress mind you, not just part of the reasons) all he wants me to do is meditate and work less. But working keeps me going in life and makes it so I can afford to live.
I think my family understands because my mom and sister also have a lot of the same conditions. My dad doesn't get it as much but he tries hard and he loves me and treats me like he always has!
My friends don’t maybe understand as well. It depends on the friend. A lot of my friends have health issues or mental health issues as well so they understand somewhat.
My family does not. They tell me it's all in my head when I speak about it. So I stopped talking about it. My fiance understands he has helped so much in the 6 years we have been together but the rest of them make me feel horrible about everything
My mom says she does but she doesn't. She has never Googled anything about any of my conditions. She tells me that she is suffering from epilepsy. I tell her that she is not suffering from it. She doesn't have seizures, take meds for it, have a VNS and has to deal with the negative stigma that goes with it. She still insists she suffers from it. She is an outsider looking in at me going through it. She then says that she is going through it believe her. She says she knows about bipolar disorder but she has absolutely no clue about it. She thinks I can control it. I have told her that I can't which is why I take meds for it.
I have schizoaffective disorder. My little sister understands how I can have little to no control over my mind because she's done enough lucy. My uncle suffers from a similar disease, but the rest of my family has always treated me like a fuck up because they can't get their head around what mental illness means! It means ability they take for granted can be beyond my grasp on high symptom days. I think if more people did shrooms and saw for themselves what it's like to lose control of your perception, there'd be more compassion. I cut ties with every family member who called me a fuck up before I was on disability. Now I have proof I'm that sick. And even now, i get hounded by people who, quite frankly, just want to squeeze more out of me than I want to give. They think the answer is I need to be in more pain to be forced to function.
My son is 11, he doesn't understand my condition but he tries to. He told me he can tell when I'm having good days and bad days, he knows my bad days is the day my pain level is up and I'm so fatigued.
No family tends to think they deserve to feel more tired because they work and I don't due to my conditions 🥴 my fiancee however is more understanding and supports me in anyway possible
my friends don’t. they try to compare my physical symptoms to their exhaustion from work or from being stressed over finals one of my friends even said “oh yeah my heart races sometimes when i work out too” when that’s not the same thing at all. my other friend even said “when you’re bad at having an eating disorder and aren’t losing weight” and that really hurt. my family on the other hand understands and are supportive, there’s chronic illnesses and autoimmune diseases in my family so they understand a lot
They don’t think about it a lot, but I see it in their eyes when they realise how much I’m affected. I fell asleep on a random bus in New Orleans while visiting for New Years several years ago and my mom woke me up when it was my stop and it was such a small memory but she realised how much I’m drained by everything and I saw that realisation in her eyes.
They try to be understanding but none of them truly know what it’s like.
My family don't talk about it, only some of my friends, mom,and stepdad knows about the full extent of my health. They try to be sympathetic but they don't understand how draining it is for me to get up every day and work.
My mom sees my anxiety attacks and breakdowns and calls me dramatic and says I'm overreacting while I'm sitting there shaking and struggling to breathe. She always tries to say i do it to spite her and that all my mental health issues i do just to make her life more difficult. A lot of my friends have similar issues so it's a lot easier to be around them than family
Nope…. I’m the only one in my family who was diagnosed with a learning disability, dyslexia, along with severe anxiety, depression and inattentive ADHD (aka A.D.D). My parents have gotten really good when my mental health greatly declines. I wanted to quit college because I was becoming very depressed when I had to take a math class 3 times to pass, which meant putting all other classes on hold, which affected everything I was working for. I was stuck in a deep hole of depression & I couldn’t get out. They said, “no, we want you to at least get an AA or certificate and if you want to quit, you can quit. But we know how much college means to you and we don’t want you to regret it.” On the other hand, my mom doesn’t understand that my learning disability & mental health has already stopped me from pursuing my dream, so at least let me have one win and that would be getting a BA. When I set my mind on something there’s no turning back. I push till I get to maybe half way where I want to be.
Nope! My mother is disabled herself, so I thought she'd understand better when I got fibromyalgia, but she doesn't. She thinks because I don't have it "as bad as her" I'll still gone to do everything I was able to do pre-fibro. It's exhausting how much she belittles my illness because she's worse.
No. My family doesn’t even try to understand. My friends just give unsolicited advice or try to diagnosis me themselves. My boyfriend hasn’t a clue but at least is willing to learn and very patient. It’s very isolating and I feel like on some level I’m faking with everyone and I’m exhausted. I know they mean well but until you experience it, it’s not easily explained
Definitely not. Depression, anxiety, possible autism (no testing for adults but dr thinks i might have), reactive attachment disorder, and boarderline personality disorder. Very very few in this world understands what it means to live with all these combined. Especially reactive attachment disorder
Only my husband and daughter mostly understand what it's like for me. As for my extended family, they have NO CLUE, no idea, whatsoever my life is like with my chronic pain. They can't possibly know because none of them are in chronic pain. They are healthy and have no serious medical issues. I stay home and don't participate in family get-togethers because I hate having to pretend I'm not in any pain when quite clearly I am. And if they do see me suffering, they pity me or try to tell me how they overcame their acute pain, or have you tried this or that, when the things they think I should do has absolutely NOTHING to do with my chronic pain. They don't realize that my chronic pain is NOT the typical chronic pain, and it is infuriating having to sit and listen to them drone on and on and on, ad nauseum...
Yes and no.
My father and I both have anxiety and Von Willebrand’s disease. He may understand, but he still doesn’t understand what it’s like to live as a woman with this condition. He still rolls his eyes and says women with heavy periods are “dramatic”. I’ve blacked out while on my period before, and he says it’s just “laziness”. He also has no sympathy for anyone with mental illness of any kind even though he’s been diagnosed with anxiety. He hates doctors and will not step foot into a doctor’s office unless his life is in danger.
My best friend and stepmother both have PCOS and I can relate to their symptoms on the reproductive side of things (heavy periods, etc), so we understand each other to an extent. My biological mother does not understand other than what she’s seen with my father and what I have told her, but she is sympathetic because she has her own health issues she sometimes struggles with.
My husband has the best idea on what it's like for me because he is always seeing me go through it. I know that no one else in my life really gets it. It can be really hard sometimes.
Yes! Everyone one in my house has some mental illness. Some less severe. My father has PTSD, my mother has ADD and BPD(she’s less severe then me) My sister has something and my brother has low grade aspergers. None of us have the same mental illness so we’re all different a bit complicated at times tho!
They use my shit against me, they try to antagonize me and I think it’s VERY intentional. Even at just really small levels, someone is probably petty. They make me feel like a bad guy, they make me think I hate them, it’s fucking annoying.
My stepdad is childish and will throw tantrums over stupid shit, he simply has to be the ‘smartest in the house’ and all that shit. He probably thinks I’m the big bad of the house. My mom claims to understand, but she’ll use my shit against me too. “You have lupus!! You can’t go out!!!!” to basically “lol no u don’t have that lololol wear makeup u look weird”.
In a group (me and mom) therapy thing several years ago, she kept bitching at me like she didn’t fucking tell me she “understood” my condition the other fucking day.
No. My mom says my mental illnesses are worse for her than they are for me. And she says I’m always sick so it doesn’t matter.
People can be compassionate and care about others and help them, but they never will truly know unless it happens to them.
Not at all. Since it's mainly mental illnesses that I deal with. My parents and my extended family can't physically see the problem. So they tell me how I'm making it up to get meds. And they are the type of people who really stigmatize mental illnesses so no support at all. They tell me all the time I should try harder or just change my mindset or something along those lines. It's weird because most of extended family are nurses or are very highly educated individuals so it hurts.
No. My mom thinks she knows everything about one of my disabilities and pretends she knows things about my mental illnesses just because she has them to but she doesn't.
No I get the idea they care, they try, but then there are times where it's obvious that they don't get it and don't really care to on that particular day. I try not to let it bother me too much though.
A lot of the times yes. My mom made me go to the doctor when I was little. My mom is my biggest advocate and works with children and knew I had ADHD at a very early age, I’m blessed to have her. My dad has adhd but at first didn’t understand why I needed meds and thought I could overcome it but he recently just promoted at his job and recognized that he had adhd and got diagnosed. I’m happy to have a supportive family, but I sometimes feel like a burden to them.
absolutely not. my mom uses me as a pawn for her political arguments and always has since my meniere's was caused by a vaccine injury, and she's constantly posting on facebook about my medical information as well as my brothers. (he's 4 years old and autistic) at the same time she uses me to make herself look woke and aware, and like a good person, she lashes out at me when i have dizzy spells or get so sick i can't function, especially in front of other people. she's brought up my chronic illness in front of more people than i can count, and made me explain it when i'm not comfortable and throws a pity party when i can't eat or interact. it's so condescending, and when i point it out she freaks out about it. it's so frustrating, especially since i literally never talk about my condition with anyone, much less her
My husband certainly does, as he is with me every day & sees me at my absolute worst. Otherwise, no. People understand pain in terms of what they’ve experienced. They can’t relate to my personal pains & struggles because they have nothing to compare it to, and they only see me put together.
@Strawberry - it's upsetting when friends don't understand your chronic condition. I never make plans with anyone because I never know how I'll be feeling. By not making plans, I don't have to feel guilty if I can't make it; and it's a bonus when I can. People have a way of making you feel bad for canceling at the last minute.
No. My family fluctuates between support and then confused/annoyed. My mother always tries to tell me what she would do if she were in my position. That's such a frustrating comment. It's easy to say what you would do but until you're living it, you can't fully understand. My family has seen the things I have gone through but it sometimes still seems that they don't understand the severity of my situation.
They try, but to put it plainly, no. And honestly, I think it's good that way. They understand if I have an issue, but they hold me to normal standards, which is what I need. They still try to push me out of my comfort zone, even if I know there's a overwhelming chance I will fail at something just because I'm hard wired to be so great at something. They don't exclude me because of my illness, they let me make that choice.
My boyfriend has done a lot of his own personal research to try to understand how it is for me living with OCD and it really helps a lot, while of course he may not understand everything, neither do I tbh 😅 we’re doing the best we can and for that I’m grateful
nope. my family often forgets i am even afflicted with ocd because i am quite high functioning. ive learned to rely on myself so they dont notice my symptoms anymore. little do they know theres no cure haha.
Just went on a walk with my brother and ended up cutting my part of the walk short and heading home before him as if I stayed any longer I knew I would either punch him In the face or just burst out in tears. He pretty much was saying how I’ve chosen to be a failure and I just use my illnesses as an excuse. I’m in my last semester of college, I will graduate In the spring…why is that a failure to him. I know I haven’t been perfect but I’m trying as hard as I can. He’s not here, he doesn’t have the condition yet every-time I see him all he does is berate me about anything and everything. Like I don’t feel worthless enough.
Everyone in my family has a TBI and mental health issues on top of disabilities… while we understand one another, it doesn’t make living with all our assorted health conditions any easier- the lack of stigma is nice, since we seem to find it most everywhere else.
They don't understand, but they try to be empathetic. They try to help me however they think they can. Sometimes some people do better than others but I try to remain grateful for their efforts. Even when things go wrong, I try to educate and advise them to avoid future problems, and I always express gratitude for their efforts. They are trying, which is more than most people have done.
No. I only have my Mom and Grandmother and neither understand. My Mother often tells me not to focus on any issues I have, stop therapy and medication and pray more. It’s a terrible feeling to be unsupported. You only have yourself to validate your feelings. My heart goes out to everyone who doesn’t feeling supported in the comments. 💕
Nope my BF does tho cuz he is also a type 2 diabetic and we are constantly helping each other. But everyone else is as clueless as a wall. The other illnesses they want to say it’s in my head but my bf can tell tho that I’m not. My daughter tries to help but she is only 8 but I appreciate her tho for trying to help me feel better.
im someone who’s very outspoken about what i have, and if someone isn’t going to try to remember my boundaries and try to understand will not be close to me
Not at all. My dad just told me tonight that I'm "healthy" and need to "get motivated" in doing daily activities.
As if my pain, fatigue, and all of the other crap that comes with chronic physical and mental illnesses aren't real.
Nooope! My family is constantly asking me if I feel better and say stupid things like, “I’m just so surprised you aren’t feeling better yet.” It’s been 4 years and my diagnosis is chronic 🤦🏻♀️
No, I think that they try to, but I almost just wish that they would ignore it. Because it’s just so much sometimes and I wish it wouldn’t overtake every aspect of my life
my older sister does. she has type one diabetes so we both have chronic illness. (different ones but still) but none of my other family members really have huge health issues.
Yes but no? Me and my mom share symptoms and she's always trying to compare. However, my friends and boyfriends empathize and actually try to understand. And that's all I can really ask for
My best friend knows best bc he’s there for a lot of my treatments and knows my daily struggle. His family kind of understands but in general it’s kind of hard to understand something you don’t have :/
not at all… i’d say my dad is the most empathetic but its still hard for him to understand why its so hard for me to do certain things that seem so normal and second nature to others, i’m still grateful that he tries.
my mom on the other hand is extremely narcissistic and yells at me all the time “why are you so stupid?” “youre so lazy” “am i the reason you’re suicidal???” “well imagine how that makes ME look”, its so exhausting :(
No. they don't even know how i feel mentally nor physically. My family knows i have low iron(anemia)and only my mom understands,no one else understands. It's always been hard having a sister like i do and a dad like i do.
no. my mom struggles with mental illness as well but still can’t wrap her head around a lot of my symptoms. my wife/ex has been a huge support through the years, but even though we’ve stayed best friends and roommates, things haven’t been the same since our separation. nowadays she seems to just not want to deal with it. i guess i can’t blame her for that.
For people who aren't in my on er circle, not really. I think those in my life personally they THINK they do but they don't and haven't made an effort to research or ask me about it, they just make assumptions and don't seem to care if that's true.
For people in my small inner circle, I don't think they understand but they are aware of that. They show me empathy and ask questions and accept that they don't understand. By doing so they ask how they can help and show a lot of care that way, which to me is considerably more effective in communicating care for me.
No. My mom is the only one who comes close to understanding. She was there when everything started and other than her….my family is not interested in understanding. My brother, cousins, dad, aunts, uncles….no one seems to really care. A handful have tried here and there and I do appreciate that but it’s difficult to feel like they don’t have any idea of what I’ve gone through.
not at all, all my family that I have left are my boomer dad and his older siblings. they don't understand at all, they try to but often feck up instead. my dad has been really trying but is leaving me to educate him about things he should be looking into on his own. I'm okay with questions but I can't explain it all to him when I barely understand it myself. he tries to treat me like an average teen but I'm not average, I'm horribly disabled and mentally ill and have been hiding it since I was a child because I wanted to be normal so badly. I'm not normal, not then or now and he doesn't get it no matter how hard I try to make him understand or at least respect it. I expected more from him when he's disabled himself too but he's just been a let down so far
No, they don’t. Whenever I’m at school with my friends I always have stomach pain because of my IBS, and they always say “just go to the bathroom” or “calm down”. But they don’t know what it’s like. I am calm, I’m just in pain. I think my parents understand better. They know it’s hard and they help me feel comfortable whenever I’m in pain.
they see me struggling and try to understand, which i’m thankful for, but they never will understand. especially with my eating disorder, they really don’t get it.
Absolutely not my blood family. Except my mom, who has many of the same health conditions. Many of my friends understand to the best of their abilities and have their own disabilities and neurodivegencies.
(!multiple tw!)
no, ive been medically neglected all my life and put on the back burner. my sister shows care but i feel like nobody understands how hard im trying, balancing on the rope between life and death and my bestfriend tells me to eat and nobody will be there to take care of me. i had to watch my mom die of cervix cancer so i know how it feels to have to witness a loved one's pain. i wish i got the help and love i needed
No they think if I’m having a good day that I’m suddenly healed and as soon as I feel bad again they all cry and send me get well messages. They mean well but it hurts
I don’t think anyone knows how many times I think about my health every day. Pretty much every 5 minutes I think about my PCOS and my diet. Kind of exhausting
No I don’t think they do, some try but they’ll never get it. I know people with my same conditions and even then because everyone is different and reacts differently to things our situations are completely different. I feel like no one fully gets your situation except. And in my case no one on my life understands. And because I’m considered really really young compared to all the elderly with my conditions no one takes me seriously. Any one of my friends can go to the dr for something and they are helped and the drs believe what they say; I’ll never have that luxury because I can’t be fixed it’s all chronic illness and they can’t relate to the fact that pain never going away and it makes me feel so alone and isolated
Heck no. They have said that I use my mental illness as an excuse and that I’m suicidal to get what I want… so no, they definitely do not understand. And I doubt they even WANT to understand. They just want to paint me as the villain as they always do. Oh well. My friends are my chosen family and they actually CARE about me!
No. My mother said to me, and i quote, “I can only tell you that in my day, they didn’t have explanations for the ones that didn’t fit. And they didn’t do anything for them. So I didn’t do it for you.”. My mother couldnt even empathize with my situation enough to help me simply because her generation didnt have the means to help her.
Sooooooooooooo it continues through generations... ✋I feel that in my bloodline and I'm trying real hard with this generation to save the next generation from the previous generation's mess.💕
My new husband and I understand each other because we both have multiple sclerosis. Both of our ex-spouses and some family members didn’t have any empathy for us.
They try to but they don't really help much I have eosophigilic esophagitis (EOE) and I'm on a special diet and some days I can't eat because they don't buy foods that I can actually eat without being sick and just want me to eat the things I can't eat anyways... other days they are scrambling to find ways to work with my diet and help but I can tell they are really burdened by my condition 😕
I do my best around others to not act so sleepy when it’s bugging me so I might look “not so tired” but I’m not. I don’t think they really realize that the sleepiness never really goes away. I don’t think they understand my narcolepsy but I just say it’s as if a normal person hasn’t slept in 3 days. I think comparing it to something they can visualize helps.
They are learning that my pace is very different from theirs, and it’s not fair to expect me to keep up with them. It has taken 10 years to go from “you’re lazy” to “you’re disabled”. It’s a process. My friends were the first to notice and understand the difference. My family took longer. But now they are my biggest support. Without them, I’d be living in a shelter. (Colorado Housing Crisis). I know not everyone is the same, but give your loved ones some time to adapt to the change. The ones that really love you will come back around.
My family not friends have nooooo clue what’s going on with me and when I try to tell them they just stare at me with this blank look bc they can’t fix me or understand what I’m talking about. They definitely don’t understand when I need to rest or sleep. This is the most frustrating part of having fibromyalgia and lupus. And it’s 100 x worse if your on these horrible medicines they prescribe which actually cause MORE fatigue and nausea than you already have! People expect you to just keep going and going. It’s the most frustrating illness I have ever imagined. And please don’t keep talking about it to your friends or family bc then you will really see who your TRUE friends are. The rest will run for the hills!! Or they will say all you do is complain. Which none of this is true of course. They JUST DONT UNDERSTAND. 😥
yeah I have a diagnosis of lupus fibromyalgia and several mental health disorders. Family mostly say I'm too dramatic and too sensitive. I have no friends either which makes it easier and yet harder at the same time
I’m blessed with a husband, family and friends who support me. I know many don’t and I’m so sorry because I can’t imagine going through this chronic pain without support.
My dear husband is always there for me, especially since I've been in and out of the hospital going on 6 years. My sisters and niece are very supportive. I deal with Bronchiectasis Obliterans with Organizing Pnemonia, which is a chronic lung condition. Every month I deal with fevers and taking antibiotics.
No lol my Mom tries but she doesn’t get it. I’ve explained some things to my Mom and sister before but I feel like they just listen and move on because they can’t understand it
I am fortunate to have a couple close friends who also have depression and anxiety. They don't understand OCD, but are always supportive. I know my mom loves me, but she doesn't understand mental illness at all. When I am really depressed, she says "You are choosing to feel this way" who in their right mind would choose to feel that way? No one! She also says that grief and depression are the same. Not even close. I didn't want to tell her about my OCD. But she caught me at a weak moment and pretty much guilt tripped me into telling her. I gave her only the bare bones. After I was done, she said "I think everyone is a little OCD" I have offered her the chance to read books and attend classes. She won't do it. I am very close to my mom's side of the family. But I haven't talked to them about my mental health issues.
The only people who actually “understand” are my family members who also deal with chronic illness/disabilities. Everyone else may try to understand but they just can’t wrap their heads around it. I always hear comments like “I hope you feel better soon” and “how have you been recently” and like, as much as I appreciate the concern, it’s frustrating because the answers to those questions are ALWAYS THE SAME. I am in pain literally 24/7 every day. How am I doing? I’m hurting! You hope I feel better soon? Thanks, but I won’t, there is no cure for fibro or EDS 🙄 even the most understanding people in my life give me pushback on accommodations sometimes… like I’m not being dramatic when I tell you I can’t rush across the street before the crosswalk timer hits 0! I’m not being a princess when I say I would like to have disabled seating on planes when possible! I’m not trying to cheat the system by getting a disabled pass when at a theme park😭
Or when I walk slow, my friends walk fast and I ask them to slow down. They know about my PN, but it doesn’t register. I’m very good at masking myself, but it’s tiresome. It’s also starting to affect my job, because I’m a caregiver and on my feet most of the time. I can’t climb footstools, or go up or down stairs with no handrails. My balance is very bad. I’m on the max dose of gabapentin that I can ever take. I freak out when I have to drive a client’s car. I’m familiar with mine, but driving another car is terrifying. I fear the future. I’m 58 and have ha this since I was 35, and it’s idiopathic. My family has it too.
No, I have used and abused my body through pain raised 6 children. Husband gets angry that I’m chronically ill. My mother just says how did you end up with all these things. It’s almost like none of them believe me. I’ve had a stroke, ER said I have conversion disorder when it was really a stroke. I don’t walk right now. I get mad at people who can walk right and even angrier at people who can still run. I loved to run. Starting to feel like the only person who cares about me is me.
I have a friend that gets having chronic pain, but to this day I've never met someone with my seizure condition. My parents try to get it all, but they just go immediately to trying to "fix it" and they don't get it. They really don't get any of the mental stuff I'm dealing with and sometimes even act like it's no big deal.
Not really. I have a good friend who also struggles from chronic illness and gets me! Every time I try to talk about my illness my parents just shut the question down and try and change the subject! It’s frustrating as I always listen to them and I’m treated this way
No. My mom was never around when I first was showing symptoms and now that I've relapsed she's just threatening to put me on medication but not asking me what's wrong
They have no idea. I have TMJ, and they think it is all in my head, or just anxiety. Although it is usually mild for me, when i’m in a flare up, i am in an awful amount of pain. They all say that they have their own aches and pains, but it is not anything to do with their jaw or mouth area. Having pain in other areas is different. You can try your best to avoid doing much to aggravate it. But you always need to eat, which involves movement of your jaw. There have been days where I just don’t eat because i am in so much pain.
sometimes yes, sometimes no. for example, my mom has been making me tons of healthy meals to help me with my IBS, but when i had a flare up recently (she unknowingly cooked with one of my food triggers) my parents didn’t believe that it was that bad. i couldn’t function, & they made me feel guilty for leaving work early to rest. they told me it was tough love. on the other hand, i went grocery shopping with my boyfriend & he helped me with everything, down to reading the ingredients on every food label. when i got sick he called me on the phone & stayed there with me until i fell asleep. some people, & some situations will be good. other times it’s all about knowing what’s the absolute best for yourself. if you need rest, take it. & hold on to the people that you know love you 🤍
No. No I don't. They still think im faking. They think it's something minor that just started. No it's major and it's been going on for 10+ years now but I pushed myself to hide my pain and now there's hemiparesis to go on top of what already existed from the severe brain damage they caused .-. I'm afraid to use my chair because my dad thinks it's a ploy to make him look bad.
no. ik they usually try but the only person who i feel like totally understands is my twin cause we both have really bad gi problems and so i feel like at least they understand me and my gut problems :)
Nope, I can’t say that anybody really understands my chronic conditions. The only one who did was my mom, who passed away in 2018. I miss her dearly, she wanted so badly to see me cured or at least find a treatment that worked.
my mom is disabled and has many of the things I do. I'm very lucky for that because she had to stick up for me a lot to get thru school and my other family members were very unsupportive. they (mostly my aunt and grandma) used to bully my mom a lot. we've stopped going to any family gatherings because we would much rather spend it together instead.
I think my husband does and oldest son does but I’m closest to them. The other 2 kids and rest of my family have no clue. Now that I’m not driving and may have to have MVD surgery I think they’re catching on.
No I dont think the people closest to me really understand what it’s like to feel like i do all the time. I don’t think they really understand how to help me either and it makes me feel more hopeless.
Absolutely not. While some friends are much more considerate of my dietary needs and chronic pain, most will never understand the full extent of my experience
nope. my family doesn't believe things are as bad as i say, despite watching me grow up with these conditions. they brush it off and say i should be used to it and need to keep a stiff upper lip and push through the pain. my friends are a bit better, but they typically just make bad jokes when they feel uncomfortable about me talking about it or say nothing more than "that sucks"
Not really but some family like my sister n mother then for my friends i try not to disclose it to them and tell them my crisis’ so i don’t overwhelm them. My mom always try to understand my diagnosis, bipolar disorder, so she can help me and i try to open up more to her in return.
My mother is in the middle, she understands, then she doesn't. One moment she's convinced that I'm just looking for attention, the other she's worried and wants me to open up more. My aunt is convinced that I'm faking it, she thinks I just want attention. My brother just calls me crazy. But my grandfather understands, there was a time when he was experiencing the same things as me. My grandmothers understood me too, when they were alive. My grandparents are/were the only ones who understood/understand me. My grandfather is the only one still alive, but, just as me, he has anxiety, so I don't want to worry him with my feelings. I did once and I regretted it because he cried to me saying he wants me to happy.
The small support system i kept is always understanding. They never take visible offense when I have to cancel or change plans. However I can tell not everyone understands what I go through sometimes I want to vent. I don’t know what response I’m looking for but I get the feeling that at moments the words I hear are just routine. I refuse to get mad because I’m glad they don’t have the experience to understand and they are doing their best to make me feel better.
Not at all. I try to talk about how i struggle with every aspect of day-to-day life because I never feel well and folks just tell me to exercise and reduce stress. I DO exercise. I go to the gym nearly daily. And stress just comes with life. I’m in grad school and work full time. Eliminating stress completely is impossible. It sucks and I am barely staying positive most days.
Not at all. My family is all healthy except for me, and they expect me to be way better than I am all the time. They definitely don’t understand all the pain and struggle from my diseases. As far as friends… I’m a high school senior, and people think it’s pretty weird for me to use crutches to walk all the time and miss so much school for appts and surgeries. So I don’t have any. They definitely have no concept of what it’s like.
My friends do because they’re understanding and willing to learn and empathize, but not my family. Where I come from, we don’t talk about mental health because “God got it.” It’s basically excuses any actual help, so it leads to no education about depression, psychosis, etc. I hope one day they’ll learn, but until then I have my friends.
none of my family understands bpd. my dad dismisses my paranoid episodes that i get because of it as “acting out for attention” and before i was diagnosed, my mom thought everyone with it is manipulative and attention seeking.
No they’ve treated me like garbage for 5-6 years now! My one son stopped talking to me 5 years ago and even blocked me from calling him or texting him!
The other son just screams and yells at me all the time! I just texted him and said I’m done! For 5 years he’s accused me of having dementia which I don’t but I guess he wishes I did! They’re both sick in the head by their actions!!!!
Slightly. They understand that my reactions to some things may be different, and they understand that I might be less likely to want to socialize/do certain things because of my conditions. However the “bad” symptoms that may result in me being hostile or frustrated tends to end in them not understanding and becoming upset with me
No, I feel like most people don’t know what schizoaffective is. And once they hear that it’s a combination of schizophrenia and bipolar, they probably have negative connotations or low knowledge.
I have family history of depression but we’re very much a don’t ask-don’t tell type of family, so no one ever talks about it and how it affects us. so while there are several people in my family with it, i don’t think they or the others really understand what it’s like for me specifically. my friends are a little more understanding but i don’t think anyone truly /understands/
They try but sometimes I feel like I’m more alone and annoying when I talk about what I’m dealing with. Like I get treated like I’m making excuses to do or not do certain things based on how I am feeling and it’s frustrating because I really do have days where I can’t do certain basic things. Then I end up feeling guilty or lazy/unmotivated 😥
They absolutely do and I'm so very grateful for that I tell my mom she is my soul mate everyday cause we act the exact same and she was the one who understood everything
My daughter and I have a saying. For she is going thru her own crisis totally different then mine. We allow each other to talk about how we are feeling and the other one says "I give a damn'. To us this means I don't understand but I am here for you.
I don't think so. Asking people to be empathetic around me is probably too much. I have had to adapt to the rest of the world so I can live in the world
Not at all. They are only empathetic when I have a seizure and like maybe 1 day after that but sometimes it takes longer for me to recover. It also effects my daily life and hoe I feel and what I can accomplish and do in one day. I'm mentally exhausted al of the time and physically in pain due to my sciatica being pinched by a ruptured disc that leaking disc fluid onto my exposed nerve, which is very painful. They expect more out of me than I can give and I always feel like I'm not good enough. 😥😐
Yes my mother was also raped as a teen and my father was molested by a priest and both still deal with horrible depression and trauma from other past situations in their childhood, so when it happens to me they understood better than anyone
The only ones I feel who get what each of the conditions I live with is the ones who went though them. Most of my family and a few friends do not have a good idea of what it means to live with ADD or depression or anxiety or suicidal idealtions because they have not went though it themselves.
I don't think they even consider it. I just went on vacation to spend time with my family after work. It sounds stupid but my mom threw away a foot pillow that was very sentimental to me. She has been inconsiderate of my feelings the entire time and my dad was telling me I have to lose weight and follow his regimen. I lost over 10 lbs doing things my way. So now I'm going back with my ex who is grouchy all the time but it seems better than being with my parents. At work i have to take everybody's shift, customers are rude to me, and there is another employee who yells at everyone and is very rude.
No. Not at all. I constantly hear the phrases "your to young to have that or to feel like that". "You must really want attention" I've only had one person that will listen and they blame my parents and their poor judgement. I'm now 20years old finding stuff that couldve been found years ago, but my parents never took me to the doctor. I've lived my life unheard and not taken seriously.
They know my stuff yes my dad is the one who understands me the most for sure my mom supports and is learning and trying to understand as much as she can and ya
My family yes. My mom has all the same problems as me, plus some and my sister-in-law actually has alot of the same problems plus some. My husband's family however is a whole other story, but they aren't rude about it and have calmed down over the years. My mother in law just likes to give me "advice" that isn't always helpful, but I've learned to just ignore it and go on. My hubby knows what I can and can't do, so whatever.
I feel like bpd is so badly stigmatized and you can’t get away from that even in regards to family they may understand and put up with you more than others but I don’t think anyone who doesn’t have this diagnosis will understand
I think people feel hopeless. At times I needed sympathy in the past till my youngest daughter taught me the greatest lesson and it snapped me right out of it.
Basically she saw me crying uncontrollable. I was in sever pain out of nowhere. She sat next to me on my bed and reminded me that when I lose emotional control it's hard to control your pain and it intensifies. Just like a women in labor she added. Wow! I know I was crying also from frustration. Cry a moment if you need but if you love yourself & family don't stay there. Just my experience! It takes desire, effort & practice.
The only people who kind of get it are the only 4 people I see, my family members whom I live with, and select doctors who have had the chance to get a lot of information from me. Everyone else I used to have in my life, well, I've had to ghost them because almost all of the time it's not possible for me to maintain those relationships with even a short conversation or spending any time with them. And no one from my extended family has said a word to me. Although I've heard they've said a couple horrible things about me. This level of isolation has been going on for 3 years. I still have fights and misunderstandings with my immediate family about different aspects of my health. But that's gotten better the more proactive I become in my health care and the better I'm able to advocate for myself.
They come from a time where mental health issues weren't understood and they've held onto that. Thankfully, I've accepted that after living my whole life remaining misunderstood. I'm very grateful now that I understand what's going on with me and that it's valid and not needing it to be valid to them.
My BF pointed out i was a germaphobe before i even noticed myself. He surprisingly follows all my dumb rules and I've never felt more accepted till now. 💕
I believe they try to understand as best as they can but it’s very challenging to express how your feeling with in your body to someone else . They can read books and articles and go to Doctor visits . But it’s a conflicting situation in it’s self.
Most certainly. I'm on my 3rd round of lung cancer. First one had surgery. 2nd diagnosis I went on hospice as post surgery was worse than the cancer and felt it was a losing battle. After 5 yrs of hospice, was declared cancer free. 2 yrs ago got diagnosed with 3,rd round. This time will not do hospice but get up, dressed, and live my life everyday till I can't. My family has travelled this road with me since 2007 and are my support team 🥰
Most of my family doesn't really understand - they try, but they don't always realize how much it affects me (partially my own fault, since I try not to show how bad I'm hurting most days). My sister is the only one who really knows how it feels, since she also deals with chronic pain, just from a different condition than what I have.
Definitely not. I’ve stopped talking with my family and friends about it because my mom said some mean things to me about bringing other people down. I used to warn my friends when I was going on a new medication though, because I would get really strange side effects so I’d only be on that prescription for a little while and then I would have to be taken off of it
My mother has Anxiety just like me but worse, I dont think she understands that I have it on a lower lvl though cause sometimes she puts her on anxieties on me saying that Im anxious when im clearly not. Sometimes i am anxious when that happens but that only because I have a small fear of talking back to adults.. and i want to say im not but my anxiety spikes making it seem like i am anxious at what she is but im only anxious about her.
My parents have no idea, I spent so many years pretending to be fine for them. My partners and kids live with me and see me struggle with simple tasks. They understand.
No, I have cancelled plans because I had a flare. I still have to take care of myself through that. So if someone see my outside of my house because I am picking up groceries of had to go to pharmacy and get meds or any other reason I have to go out, I see someone and they will say “ oh, I thought you were sick you don't look sick” then I try to explain and they really have a look on their face like I'm making it up.
No, even my sister who developed one of my conditions ignores I can help her and makes it always seem like she's the first to ever have it happen to her
Ha! My family, meaning my mom, brother and sister and relatives don't know about my depression. I don't want to tell them and likely won't. They're judgmental and in the past, when I've mentioned other things, they say I'm "just making it up". Yep. I'm just over here loving my imaginary conditions...
Yes, they’re accepting of it more than me even. They’ve given up that I should get a job it seems. And it means I don’t have an enormous amount of stress. 🙏 I think I’m so lucky to have these people in my life. I’m so loved by people…. 💕
It’s hard to understand how mystifying hallucinations can be.
Outside of them, I know they’re unreal. In midst of it, I have no clue. To be honest I sometimes wonder even when I’m WELL If they were real or not.
They cause mood swings and I only wish to say sorry to them. It’s humiliating
I don’t feel anyone really gets it either. My one close healthcare coordinator gets it to a point but I also deal with roommates who copy (medical seek) for attention because they think I get attention watch I don’t just extra meds yuck! Sometimes I wish they would walk in my shoes for a day then they wouldn’t wish this stuff. People are bazaar why would you want to be sick?
Not at all. It's always me blowing it out of proportion. & Even if it is in hindsight it's still a problem at the time. No matter what it is I could be getting chased by a Michael Myers and it's just so I need to calm down it's not that big of a deal.
I have 2 sisters and a brother my older sister understands more then my younger sis and brother my younger sister is a hypochondriac so when I'm talking to her about my health problems she says she has the same problem and it really bothers me also my husband starts comparing our issues which really pisses me off cause I don't try and compare my pain to his he makes me feel like my problems ain't as bad as his problems which yes he has cystic fibrosis and stomach problems but I don't try to make out like my pain is worse then his but he does that to me just like my lil sis does and it bothers me sooooooo bad
But also as a recovering addict my family is all addicts themselves so I do get told they are proud of the progress I've made but at the same time they don't understand once I got clean I also went back to my old memories of child abuse from my "sperm donor" and all the mental abuse from his mom and sister and everything that happened to me when I was pg with my second child and my first husband went to prison for messing with my lil sis when she was 14yrs old and then had to have a emergency c-section and my son had to be put in a incubator and transferred to a hospital 2hrs away from where I lived and he had to have heart surgery at 6days old and after that when he was 6 months old and my daughter was 1yr and 6 months old I lost them and dealing with my kids grandma not allowing me to see my kids alot even now that I'm clean she has excuses all the time for why I can't see them and her Only having guardianship of my kids plus she says she ain't had a bday party for my kids since my son turned 1 and my daughter turned 2 but I believe it's an excuse so their biological father her son can be around them even tho hes a registered sex offender.... so the first yr and a half I was clean I stayed in the bed asleep but now I sit in my bed watching tv but doing my best to get back to a normal type of life that allows me to feel like I did before I started doing drugs.... So with all that I'm finding my way through my traumas and I do have my family's support but other then my older sister the rest don't understand what all I've been through my mom knows but she don't care it's always about her and her feelings... but I hope what I'm about to say helps someone it don't matter if you have your families support or not just remember the only person you can control is yourself and you don't need their support as long as you believe in yourself you can do anything you want and I always needed others to do things with me for motivation but I'm slowly learning my life and my actions are on me to do what I want and need it to be so as long as I allow myself to not lose control of my life then my life can only get better even if I have bad days just take it all 1 day at a time because tomorrow is not promised... also a dog does pretty good at motivating me to get up and get outside and my dog is my only motivator I need :)
The woman who adopted me wanted to put me on zombifying drugs for dissociation, thought it was just me being high and drunk, etc etc. The one friend i ended up telling proceeded to turn around, pretend she had it while mocking the disorder and me horribly, and proceeds to spread misinformation about it. After a few years i had to tell someone else because they confronted me on my behavior and i simply couldnt keep saying "oh yeah im busy, im stressed, oh sorry sorry i had xyz" and they really didnt understand what i was talking about -- despite saying they were supportive. Since then theyre either distant af or theyre constantly asking why im acting wekrd, why im distant, why my writing style is different, etc.
Absolutely not! I get so tired of hearing people say mental health isn't a REAL thing... if you're depressed just forget it and get happy. Like we can just change our moods and feelings like a light switch. That being said, there are a few people that I truly believe can relate to me but even a few of them turn it into "my mania is worse than yours" etc... like it's a game... really pisses me off
Absolutely not. My family tries to one up me in pain, and always minimize and gaslight what I'm going through. My partner said I started to get worse after we.got engaged (4yrs ago), and they didn't "sign up to be a caretaker". Broke my heart.
I lost my family because they said I was lazy and slept too much and after I became homeless because I couldn’t work anymore I found out I have SLE and fibromyalgia along with severe sleep apnea with lumbar spondylitis and RA and they still think it’s all in my head even though I have been diagnosed legitimately and my two children who are pretty much grown for the most are witness to my flare ups and pain and they are all the family I want and need and love 💕😊💯
Nope! Its not for lack of trying, but its almost impossible to know what it's like to live with a condition you've never had. Most of my friends do their best to understand whats going on, some have similar issues, but they still admit they don't really know what it's like. But, they're there for me to offer support and that's what matters.
Lovingly, absolutely not. A lot of them experience their own chronic issues but have never taken the time (nor want to) to figure it out and get help. Which means I've gotten a lot of them genetically without warning because they never knew and don't really care. And they mean well, most of the time, but a lot of them just make assumptions and don't actually ask. Or try to tell me something is "normal" because they experience it to. 😥 Yikes.
My friends definitely understand, but I think I purposefully surround myself with people that will understand and accept everything about me.
As for my family, it depends on who it is and what condition it is. My mom struggles to grasp the concept of anxiety, but is genuinely trying her best and always apologizes when she realizes she wasn't being fair. My grandma is into a lot of weird things and will try giving me rocks for my anxiety or waving her arms and flicking her hands over my aunt who she has linked to me so the stuff she does to her affects me or something like that. When I was at my lowest point in life she called to say she had just done a session of this with my aunt and came to the conclusion through it that doing the dishes and laundry would help me. I was pretty mad.
My husband has had chronic pain and nerve damage for half his life and one of my best friends has lupus, so I know that at least they do. My kids try to understand as best they can, for teenagers. 😅
Not. At. All. My husband is SUPER supportive, but it's hard to know exactly what it's like with my conditions. Most of the rest of my family seem to act as if I'm being overdramatic or exaggerating my symptoms.
I don't know. My mom has conditions similar to mine but somehow she still doesnt understand. My friends don't but listen to me complain about it all the time and are very empathetic
My friend also has anxiety and depression and I got the chemical imbalances FROM my family. But my family "cured" it with alcohol, ignorance, religion and lashing out. So I guess yes and no?
No. My parents always use a mental hospital as a threat when I am so much as upset, keep in mind the mental hospital traumatized me greatly I still have flashbacks to the look and the staff and the experiences and I break down. My friends don't either. I show multiple signs of just giving up everyday and they let the words and signs for right over their heads. Some understand and will let me be open thankfully, but most don't
Lmfao not at all especially my parents they A. Don't belive in mental illness B. Think that I'm faking symptoms for attention but like 🤨 bestie I have not been depressed since I was 8 for attention when you didn't know till this year I haven't struggled only for you to call me a liar
I think that they do. They are very receptive to me when I'm expressing a particular struggle or issue I'm working on and they actively show interest and validate that it's important to them. My family and husband have been on a long journey with me and understand all the highs/lows I experience on a daily basis
I've had autism for almost 21 years, and sometimes I wonder if people really understand what I go through. I know some people I know are like, yeah I feel that. But the thing is, do they really know?? I would love to get rid of my autism, but I feel like that's what makes me unique. I would like to have some kind of technology to scan my thoughts and stuff that goes on in my head to have people see exactly what's going on in there. I would like to see how someone I know who doesn't have autism have a day in the life of me. It would be kind of hard and stressful, but I feel like it would be worth it for them.
My sister is empathetic to me as she has chronic pain and has seen the pain I go through amd she has had 1 migraine of my severity once a year instead of my daily ones.
But what she doesn't realize how disabled she was that one day is me everyday amd how much energy it takes me just to act like a functioning human and that's where she doesn't understand. She expects me to be able to go do things when she wa tsa family day amd sometimes it's the worst day of the week habi g to force myself to act as normal as I can
No. Everyone says oh try that pillow, go ice up, pray about it, do that exercise oh I've had muscle cramps they can't be that bad. Ya right then why do I have to get deep brain surgery if it's not that bad. My brain is misfiring causing the rare movement disorder. Tremors and irretractable pain. I wish that special pillow or ice stopped or calmed it. I really don't get how intelligent ppl think it's that simple if I literally have to get my deep brain surgery 🙃
No I don't. Most of the time I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel alone sometimes. I have my boyfriend and he doesn't understand but he doesn't need to. He says "I know it bothers you and that's enough for me to want to change it"
Hell no. And any time i complain about pain or something, nobody cares. Anyone else has any kind of pain and it's a huge deal, but bc i live with it daily, mine basically doesn't matter and it sucks
Eh yah but I don't think everyone has the same symptoms of anxiety depression ADHD so even all us on here can't always relate 100 but yes being empathetic and giving advice is better than someone being mean to you for having your mental illness
It's hard for people to understand even if they have a similar condition. Things very so much. My friends understand what I need but maybe not how I feel.
No, not at all. My step mom has accused me of faking my anxiety attacks because I apparently only have them when it is “convenient for me”. I do not understand the logic in this at all as anxiety attacks are not, what-so-ever, an enjoyable experience. Nor have I EVER received any sympathy from her or other members of my family when I do so. Why would I fake something that does nothing to aid me?
When I experience anxiety my dad tells me to suck it up and stop “freaking out”, my mom quite literally yells at me to “BREATHE!”, and my sister rolls her eyes and walks away.
I always kind of thought it was rude to pretend to understand/hear what someone said when you didn’t, so no matter how embarrassing, I will plainly tell people that I did not hear/understand what they said. My previously greatest friend once said to me:
“Look… I know you have ADHD and can’t control it or whatever but you NEVER pay attention. Can you LISTEN to what I’m saying?! I already her “what?” enough from my family, I don’t need it from my best friend.”
I believe that people only say “sorry, what did you say?” Or “what?” When they are INTERESTED in what you’re saying. When I was talking to my friend the day she said that we were in a very distracting environment. There was loud music playing, multiple conversations happening, and dishes being cleaned about a foot away from us. She does not understand how hard it is for me to focus and hear what she is saying. I was making such a big effort, but she does not realize.
Yes, my family swears they understand but they will usually bring in someone with similar health problems and compare. I'm usually seen as someone whose not doing all they can to make themselves better. This is why I've given up hope that they will ever understand. My dad still doesn't understand and I'm just sick of ppl saying they understand. I've even explained this to my bf in hopes that he will stop trying to explain to ppl my health problems. Time can only tell.
It all depends, i guess. With anxiety and depression my family understands. My sister is currently going through depression and my mom went through depression as a teen, but it's not a big concern.... My pawpaw has spinal issues, so he understands my constant back pain. I don't think anyone in my family understands what it's like, going through DiGeorge Syndrome. I'm just glad that my family has stuck by my side during the most difficult times of my life.
I don't think anyone in my family gets what I go through. I'm the only deaf person in my family. I do have good friends who are deaf and they get it. I am grateful for them, as it helps me feel less alone.
No cause I'm alone and I'm blamed for having my conditions even though I've had then throughout child hood, they were obvious and some already diagnosed and I was neglected treatment
Yes and no. My mom also has depression and chronic pain, and I'm pretty sure my dad has autism and anxiety, but neither of them were properly treated (especially not my dad) til later in life. This made it so they tend to mask a lot, bury their feelings, get unhealthy coping mechanisms, the like. But they're relatively stable in day-to-day life. They don't know how to handle what's wrong with me. They're trying, I can tell, but they can't quite figure me out and I can tell I make them so stressed.
As for my friends, I'm sure most of them can heavily relate to some of my conditions, but I've nearly stopped trying talking to them about my health. Most of them have their own issues to deal with, and people don't tend to listen to me. I occasionally will post on my instagram story or in our discord server if I feel especially bad, but nobody ever really helps, so I'm not sure why I still try.
No. What's worse is they THINK they do, just because they have had circumstantial/ situational depression. Don't get me wrong, one isn't better or worse than the other, but having MDD is just different than that because I've been dealing with it since I was young, whereas they deal with theirs occasionally when they get triggered by something. And then for them it's just depression, they've at least expressed to me that they have no idea what having sustained suicidal ideation is like. My mother has severe OCD, but she tries to compare that to my PTSD, which just dosent work out smoothly because they're different disorders for a reason. If they were the same experience, they wouldn't have separate names. My father has some traumatic experiences, but his brain didn't process them in a PTSD way. My brother has ADHD and mild anxiety. So when I come at them with all these diagnosis and possible other diagnosis that my doctors are looking in to, they either go "Oh I know what that's like!" When they don't, or they just shrug. My brother went into a mental health field, and when he started his classes my parents made the comment "maybe your brother can finally figure out what's wrong with you!" In a passive joking way, but it obviously didn't feel like a joke because I remember it to this day years later.
The good thing is, my partner has a lot of similar if not the same disorders that I have, all to a higher degree in my mind, because of their physical disorder that causes their parasympathetic nervous system to constantly be activated, giving them a very high level of cortisol. I say that's good in this context because they actually do know what it's like to have a PTSD episode, they know what it's like to dissociate, the understand my insomnia and MDD and GAD and substance use. It's very helpful for healing to be able to talk with someone who truely does understand.
My mom, no. I've tried sharing my experiences (she sometimes listens) and articles/resources/stuff with her, but she doesn't look at them, which makes me feel dismissed.
My best friend has similar experiences but not exactly the same. We have a mutual understanding of "idk exactly what you're going through but I relate and I see you".
My other friend can relate to some of it (depression, anxiety) but not the chronic pain or psychosis, but is always willing to listen and help support.
Absolutely not. My partner and former roommate are likely the only ones who aren't being passive aggressive or even sometimes all out aggressive about how THEY view MY conditions. My partner helps me in any way they can and my ex roommate has seen me at my worst... But they both acknowledge that they genuinely can't comprehend how terrifying it is for me to go through these things.
I do however have one friend who has many similar conditions to me. They live through the same hell that I do (or a similar one. No two experiences with disabilities are ever the same)
Growing up, my parents never really normalized mental health issues. Probably due to generational trauma. So when my parents found out I am seeking therapy, they thought it was ridiculous and told me not to trust them with certain info.
No, I don't. I don't think people who do not have chronic illness can fully grasp the difference between our baseline and theirs. I feel like my "good" days would not seem good to them. It's not their fault that they don't understand, they just do not have that frame of reference. I feel like the people in my life try to understand, but I don't think they ever really could without experiencing it. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
They don’t have a clue. They think it’s all in my head (haha). That I just choose to be this way. Yeah I chose to have Bipolar 1, CPTSD, GAD, Panic Disorder, OCD, and ADHD. It’s such a wonderful feeling to have all these mental conditions, who wouldn’t choose it ?
coming from a law enforcement/military family I can relate to this. Trauma is like a dirty little secret that everyone has but doesn’t acknowledge. Speaking of trauma or therapy is guaranteed to invite ridicule and even resentment. They feel like acknowledging that trauma affects me (PTSD and depression) is an indictment of them and their ability to cope (makes it hard to deny their trauma and severe off-the-charts anxiety). But as I progress in therapy and become less of a traumatized “people pleaser” I invite the ridicule. After surviving cancer I’m not afraid of their suffering disguised as bravado. In fact, they’re now scared shitless of me because I call out THEIR trauma now. I send them helpful info but I doubt they read it.
My mom does, because she gave me her Crohn's Disease, lol. She's been 1 of the biggest helpers/support system for me. My boyfriend tries, but he doesn't understand sometimes, which can be irritating. My friends don't know it at all, but their words of encouragement help.
My mom had a better understanding of the constant pain and we both have horrible anxiety and depression, but she doesn't understand the whole trans thing. Don't get me wrong, my mom is one of my best supports with that whole thing, but she doesn't understand the ins and outs of it like some of my, also trans, friends do.
The Alike Team
586d
Do you feel that your friends and family have a good idea of what is means to live with your conditions?
319
845
Share
Psychogenic non epileptic seizure
Abdominal Distention
Generalized pain
acute lethargy
Anxiety (Including GAD)
Diabetes Type 2 (T2D)
Nausea and Vomiting
Depression
Chronic Pain
Acute Anxiety
Fibromyalgia (FM)
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Dementia
Urticaria.
Low Back Pain
Ibuprofen
Esophagitis-Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD)
Anemia
Drowsiness
Low Mood
Chronic Generalized pain
Chronic Irritability and Anger
Gabapentin
Chronic Nausea and Vomiting
Symptoms Involving Nervous & Musculoskeletal Systems
Skin rash
Palpitations
Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA)
Migraine
Headache
lillypod21
586d
31
Goingnumb
586d
63
Elisabeth
586d
43
IGot99Problems
586d
4
IGot99Problems
586d
37
Sharon
586d
75
Carolina
585d
11
ghoulboynoodle
585d
11
MrsSteele1
585d
24
Cindy33
585d
19
Emma37
585d
12
ADHDGAL92
585d
8
Quinee
585d
14
Strawberry
585d
12
JesusChild777
584d
3
randochikn
584d
1
Nightowl
584d
16
SAJE
584d
1
SAJE
584d
3
SAJE
584d
0
SAJE
584d
1
Jennifer Barlett
584d
5
Nightowl
584d
0
Nightowl
584d
1
CoolGirl22
583d
1
SAJE
583d
1
Ang
583d
4
Tinie
583d
2
SimplyImperfect
582d
2
theb00t
581d
0
sleepyaries2
581d
0
kjsux
580d
3
platinum77
580d
3
Stellaluna
579d
9
Ellen
579d
1
hammy1217
579d
1
Fortitude
579d
0
RonZ
575d
4
Mila
575d
5
Mario
575d
1
fallonsly
569d
0
EchoWings
569d
1
somanyissues
568d
1
Sheeba
549d
0
Dropper_hands
549d
0
SkylerBoByler
548d
0
SimplyImperfect
547d
1
astarr308
545d
0
Allie_May
545d
1
Altoria
543d
2
AppleJuice
543d
1
Cai
543d
1
natetheboneman
541d
0
queenCherryBee
541d
0
sunflower7
541d
1
Dollymygirl
541d
0
m_mads
540d
3
kriter
539d
1
UnluckyUnicorn
539d
1
uglyunicorn91
539d
0
MoJoe
538d
1
Ouchie
538d
1
SaffronAcr
538d
1
JustRachelle
538d
1
Nana1124
537d
0
applehat
535d
0
uriboo
532d
0
Edens48
532d
1
AJBees
532d
0
Starr_11115
532d
0
antiquejade
531d
0
Catt
531d
2
Riley
531d
0
Lexta
531d
0
ChronicWitch2.0
531d
1
Dhadhu
531d
1
purplepinch
531d
1
jeokser
530d
0
stormithegay
530d
0
ATranceClassic16
530d
0
Ninothesloth
530d
0
callmeblue
529d
0
Jellybean001
529d
1
Nana1124
529d
0
vice2410
529d
0
spoonie93
529d
0
Carolshine
529d
0
kkiqra
529d
0
RionWilde
529d
0
Erenyeager
528d
2
distri
528d
0
RosesForMyDear
528d
1
Jay5
524d
1
Dani23
524d
0
bluelavender
524d
0
OuchiePrincess
523d
0
esh
523d
0
ADreamInside
523d
0
Kyliana
523d
1
nbwiththespinnerring
523d
1
Mz505
523d
0
Snickerdoodle
522d
1
Sambreezay
522d
1
sweetfaith
522d
0
wolfe
522d
2
Venti
521d
2
CleverBoat143
521d
1
Sarah_Jane
521d
2
nickvalentine
521d
2
kayboof
521d
0
kowysteria
521d
0
Fable
521d
1
kara.urmom
521d
1
PurpleOtter
521d
0
susu
521d
1
quinn1221
521d
1
Haley_219
521d
1
LyricRainn111
520d
1
krosebee
520d
1
Grnhzlbrwn
520d
1
sprite
520d
1
Grnhzlbrwn
520d
1
Poisonedlogic
520d
1
Stefani
520d
3
PinkPupButt
520d
2
DumbJock
518d
1
Poddledogmom
518d
1
Melcore
517d
2
Natalion
516d
3
Sky42
516d
3
jay_
516d
1
QueenOfCrohns
516d
2
YumYumRoll
516d
2
wasps
515d
3
Sunnymoon
515d
2
Wonworstlottery
515d
0
CaliDreamer
515d
1
Jih
514d
1
Camilo_Madrigal
514d
0
Izzybee
514d
1
TalkativeIntrovert
514d
2
Metis8
514d
0
Matilda
514d
0
Rez
514d
1
Carlina
513d
1
Estrel
513d
1
TalkativeIntrovert
506d
0
Aloe1200
505d
1
Moxie_Bluesky
505d
0
Sexylady
503d
0
Trinnn
502d
1
Dreameevee
497d
1
todd
496d
0
OuchiePrincess
490d
1
Mystical03
490d
2
slothsoul
488d
1
Noni
487d
2
Artisticfloral
487d
1
___
487d
1
Lms526
485d
1
CJM
484d
2
spoonfull
484d
2
Bubz
483d
1
CJM
483d
1
Parkchick
483d
1
Mandm
483d
1
Zonnie
473d
0
catladu2001
472d
1
sammieeee
468d
1
LaurB
466d
0
treelover
462d
3
comealittlecloser
462d
1
DizzyRay
462d
1
LilBuzzling
462d
3
ItchyWitchy
459d
1
Carribean_Mix
459d
0
Lena08
453d
0
Ado
452d
0
Jenny7777
452d
2
selky
452d
0
Krystal
451d
1
feellicks
451d
2
CGravot
451d
1
trish1
451d
0
CherryBunny_
451d
1
Underlighet
451d
0
SAMHAIN
451d
0
strawberrysoop
451d
2
Andib
451d
0
Liz_beth
451d
1
Musey
451d
1
marori22
450d
0
ToeKnee
450d
0
Medically_Challenged
450d
0
Cheerperfection
446d
0
Pluto707
446d
0
Glutenfreegal
446d
0
Spookybee
445d
0
HunnyBunny
444d
0
Marry_Me
444d
0
Scout1996
443d
1
Mj_and_Otis
443d
0
Cici_Njuguna
443d
2
Leo_Yanofsky
443d
1
ToeKnee
443d
1
Carlina
443d
0
jolyne
443d
0
KateTheGreat
443d
1
Margaret_Elizabeth
443d
1
whosawhatsits
443d
1
Muffie
443d
0
skylerrosee
442d
0
cecilyella
442d
0
Mkat
442d
0
kaylee72
441d
1
Ena
441d
1
BSkye
433d
0
Celia_Delia
432d
0
Suze
432d
0
Brittanie
431d
2
fiction.finatic
429d
1
kbaby2323
428d
0
KikiKiss
428d
0
NotVeryBendable
419d
0
Baby_Cactus
419d
0
Mochanotfound5
419d
0
white_oleander
419d
1
ToastyToast
419d
0
sagjun
419d
1
HeavenMyway
419d
0
kayleexoxo
418d
0
Masscrystal
418d
0
sashstump
418d
0
Mija
418d
0
Mija
418d
0
MLee
418d
0
Torvi
418d
0
Blaire
415d
0
Sifu
414d
0
MyChangeOfHeart
413d
0
Fullcircle
413d
0
Pollipocket
413d
0
JamesNo
412d
0
JamesNo
412d
0
Amos_P
411d
0
Dorkasaurus
411d
0
LindaG
406d
0
ToastyToast
406d
0
Sydari
406d
1
SanJuniper
403d
0
Plantmom88
403d
0
uno
402d
0
Naite
401d
0
RCM
400d
0
Sphinx
400d
0
WRaven
379d
1
carrielovelylady
371d
0
Pippin
371d
0
Lil_Orca_Light
371d
0
CheleKelly
369d
0
Pencil
369d
0
EmilyAnn
368d
0
livvie361
368d
0
MiloSunshine
367d
0
greenolive0611
367d
0
bexca_
366d
0
Kate1985
365d
0
Gingerbunny26
365d
0
depressedunicorn
365d
0
Shaunny
365d
0
Crabby279
365d
0
CreativC
365d
0
Love7721
365d
0
katzgoddessa
364d
0
Ralffy
364d
0
LittlePocketPen
364d
0
Knightstarr
363d
0
Oarkid
363d
0
Harley.Q
363d
0
Harley.Q
363d
1
audRei
359d
0
BIGGjon
358d
0
LittleCrow
358d
0
dadoen
358d
0
Summer2022
358d
0
freyaslady
349d
0
depressed_introvert
349d
0
Fox_Fay
349d
0
Riptide
347d
0
NoraLeigh
347d
0
Mop
347d
0
Kitty83
347d
0
TyeDarkSoul
347d
0
Lucas.exe
347d
0
HenriettaHeadache
347d
0
Beautiful_Disaster_
347d
0
notmia
347d
0
tea444
347d
0
SkylerRose
347d
0
Vi.Vi
346d
0
bookishlamb
345d
0
Pridefrog
345d
0
oswinthefox
345d
0
Corrin
345d
0
Weiss
344d
0
ellinoris
344d
0
Evantha
344d
0
maic
343d
0
MrsBabydoll
342d
0
not_b00bs
342d
0
Zuma
341d
0
AudaCity
334d
0
minnesotagirl
334d
0
Sleak67
332d
0
History.and.cats
332d
0
truly.caroline
331d
0
CheleKelly
331d
0
Nikolas
331d
0
_Robbie_
331d
0
LaveLavender10
331d
0
emo_chick
331d
0
Joyce2
331d
0
laceyandme
330d
0
Lucas.exe
330d
0
Titania
330d
0
calimomma80
330d
0
Bridgette
330d
0
jaynox
330d
0
CDog
329d
0
Jazzmin87
329d
0
mnmerritt02
329d
0
CelticCoffeeMom
320d
0
Mommabear74
320d
0
Dayze
313d
1
andooe
313d
1
gurspaceport
298d
0
PlaslyMeds
297d
0
spicysugar
297d
1
Catlady121427
296d
0
EliteLexy
296d
0
crash101
296d
1
bearboy
296d
2
wyvernprince
296d
1
Vyowleta
292d
2
Krista_Beth
292d
2
Max_F
292d
1
Vooligan
288d
1
Creator
287d
1
Chancla
287d
1