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Cookiee

714d

:small vent: When your family finally decides to start "caring", like asking questions and whatnot but it's already too late. I don't care nor do I feel like keeping all my relationships alive anymore. I'm tired. I have one best friend and he is all I want and need. No one else needs me unless for their gain and I think I'm finally becoming okay with not helping anyone anymore. The guilt is diminishing. My boundaries are growing. But sometimes I wonder if it's my actual growth as a person or if my depression has more than a hand in it. I like to think it's helping me right now though. Side note: I can see it in their faces when I'm around. Like they don't know how to talk to me. That only makes me close up more. F.Y.I, my walls are high and I don't spill easily. :the end:

Top reply
    • DefConHeavy

      706d

      In my experiences what worked for me was actually telling people how I felt I told them that I felt like they were using me or they just talked to me when they need something. This let people know how I felt about the way they treated me. And I do understand that my worth as a man is based on the fact that I have to provide something it's just the way a man's life works. If some people are in your life for a second or a minute sum for a lifetime. I do know that life is very short if we can create or maintain meaningful relationships with people it's definitely worth the risk these people won't be in our lives forever and once they're gone That's it .they can only live on in our memory. Don't let people take advantage of you However loneliness often spawns from the need for socialization it's hardwired into our beam beam 15000 years ago people had to be together to survive leaving your clan met you would not survive So it's easy to become depressed when we're lonely or by ourselves it's actually natural. It's our bodies biological and chemical way to tell us that we need Some kind of interaction with others in our lives that's meaningful to us. Again this is just from my experience.

    • DefConHeavy

      706d

      In my experiences what worked for me was actually telling people how I felt I told them that I felt like they were using me or they just talked to me when they need something. This let people know how I felt about the way they treated me. And I do understand that my worth as a man is based on the fact that I have to provide something it's just the way a man's life works. If some people are in your life for a second or a minute sum for a lifetime. I do know that life is very short if we can create or maintain meaningful relationships with people it's definitely worth the risk these people won't be in our lives forever and once they're gone That's it .they can only live on in our memory. Don't let people take advantage of you However loneliness often spawns from the need for socialization it's hardwired into our beam beam 15000 years ago people had to be together to survive leaving your clan met you would not survive So it's easy to become depressed when we're lonely or by ourselves it's actually natural. It's our bodies biological and chemical way to tell us that we need Some kind of interaction with others in our lives that's meaningful to us. Again this is just from my experience.

    • welpe

      709d

      That was a similar concern for me. I was making great progress with my treatment team... But I moved for an opportunity that I felt would benefit me greatly, and then I was introduced to more (actually arranged it before I left). I've actually been able to continue on and grow from that. With HIPPA, it's also possibility to waive info release and let old and new professionals to talk and coordinate care to help continuity. But it's not so much about moving such vast distances as I did... the essence is moreso gaining your own turf, and allowing space in your room and life to be yourself more authentically. When you are with those people to have predetermined boundaries, and to be able to enforce them. It creates a different dynamic when they are on your turf, rather than you on theirs. It may even be a move within the same town/city/state/area... where you could stay with your same professionals...

      • Cookiee

        706d

        @welpe nice, I wasn't aware of that about the doctors. And I would have to move somewhere that doesn't get too cold as I am in Michigan and the winters damn near kill me now with how severe my SAD gets. At this point I don't mind moving away from friends and family, other than my bestie but it would just be me running away and nothing would change. I also have a senior dog that I wouldn't be able to leave alone so treatment would have to wait anyway if I were to move solo. Thanks again for your response. :) I appreciate the insight.

    • welpe

      714d

      I'm glad that you are taking steps to improve boundaries. Boundaries are a good part of self care. Keep up on the constant evaluation of if it's helping or hurting, as it can be a tricky balance with depression. I can relate with family not showing interest in me, or even being emotionally neglectful. I'm glad you have one friend who has shown themselves worthy; they are hard to come by and oh so valuable. The situation is lonely for sure but it's also important to note it doesn't need to be forever. We are very similar from what you share. to cement that your current situation doesn't need to be forever, I just wanted to share that I was able to recently move out and move across the country, and am having a great time out here, making my life on my terms. I understand it can be difficult to look at other points in time when struggling, I just wanted to share the perspective I have gained in the last year. Happy to chat more too, if you felt this was helpful.

      • Cookiee

        709d

        @welpe I appreciate your response and am happy you were able to move and do things your way now. I wish I had the balls to but I feel like if I move then I'd have to completely start over with doctors and the progress I've made thus far.

    • android8fern

      714d

      I don't really know what to say other than I really relate. I don't have any friends and I'm not close to family but I can see it in their faces too. It's really lonely and I wish you the best because living like this sucks.

      • Cookiee

        714d

        @android8fern I'm sorry that you do relate. It is lonely for sure. Best of luck to you as well.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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