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Arctic

634d

does anyone else involuntarily age regress? I hate how I feel like I can't ever bring it up since most people associate age regression with NSFW/ageplay when that is not at all what it is. when I get triggered, sometimes I'll be transported back into the mind of a kid. I know I'm an adult, but I feel and behave so much like a scared child. I know that the only way to improve is to let myself feel this way and to not fight it, but process and accept it. but my entire life I've been at best shamed and at worst abused for acting my age. I've always had to be mature, no matter what was happening. so now I beat myself up if I catch myself acting younger than I physically am. I can't help it.

Top reply
    • AkwardAmber

      625d

      My boyfriend is very supportive. I do it as a coping mechanism. I'll act like I'm a child before my trauma and watch tv shows or movies that came out when I was 5-7. You aren't weird for doing this. I think the reason you feel off is because of trauma we have to grow up fast. Knowing your are safe now and can relax and just be a kid is honestly powerful.

    • Emilys1482

      625d

      I am the same sir. 😥😥

    • AkwardAmber

      625d

      My boyfriend is very supportive. I do it as a coping mechanism. I'll act like I'm a child before my trauma and watch tv shows or movies that came out when I was 5-7. You aren't weird for doing this. I think the reason you feel off is because of trauma we have to grow up fast. Knowing your are safe now and can relax and just be a kid is honestly powerful.

    • beingnotseeming

      629d

      Definitely have experience with this. Working on trauma in general but especially with my inner child has helped.

    • Hiraeth

      630d

      I feel like a kid again sometimes, scared and helpless and alone and shutting down/dissociating/going nonverbal when people start screaming at me. I don't know how to help, though, sorry. You'd already be avoiding your triggers if you could and I can't think of another way to help, except maybe leaning into it a little so it doesn't last as long? It helps me to bring up a safe memory, in this case, the scent of lilacs, napping under the bush where it's dark and muddy but /safe/ on a warm Summer evening where I drowsily just know my mother-figure is going to call me inside for dinner soon, her voice warm and kind, and everything's alright. Sometimes I go to another safe place, too, I'm a maladaptive daydreamer with a lot of different worlds in my head; I can't sleep without falling into one of them. Or maybe channeling it into something constructive, like writing poetry, or even meditating, or some activity where you can be blank and focus everything on it? I don't know if it will let you, because we're all different, 🤗 and I'm fine a few hours after that person stops raging, but if I don't do something that I've listed here I'll either dissociate completely or have a panic attack, and then dissociate. Sometimes I go into a mild dissociative fugue for days after. Said person (with severe brain damage, including to the prefrontal cortex) is then confused as to why I'm upset. Let us know if anything works! 💕

      • Arctic

        630d

        @Hiraeth thank you very much for the suggestions and describing what works for you, I'll definitely have to see if any of them work for me! I don't have very much emotional permanence, so when I'm triggered and in a state like that where I feel like a scared child, it's hard to remember that I haven't felt that way my whole life and that I will not feel like that forever. which then also makes it very difficult to access happy/positive memories. I should write out a list of them when I can access them to be able to look back on if I get triggered that way again, I think. I do sometimes draw or write if I feel capable, and it definitely helps more often than not!

        • Hiraeth

          630d

          @Arctic *instead a paper journal a video journal if it's feasible My apologies, I'm sleep deprived.

        • Hiraeth

          630d

          @Arctic Maybe try scents? Scents are really strong triggers. Or maybe instead a of paper a video journal of it's feasible? Because you can trust you, right, and seeing your own face and own emotions would help, right? When I get like that, there's nothing else. Like the whole ocean is in my head. I can't even think. It's probably some sort of panic attack for me, honestly.

    • Lydia8271

      634d

      Its normal for people with trauma to be triggered and transported to the mind of whatever age they experienced it

      • Arctic

        634d

        @Lydia8271 yep. I wish I knew that the first times it had happened, and I wish this was a wider known fact in both the general public and non-specialist counselors/therapists/psychologists.

    • hugh_jass

      634d

      Yes omg. I like to play with toys & just change my whole demeanor to that of a child. It happens when I'm extremely upset or triggered

    • Tata01

      634d

      I feel like this everyday. I feel like the traumatic experiences I've had since I was a child make me be stuck in the mentality of the kid who didn't understand the things around them, even though physically I'm an adult now. I also feel really ashamed when I do, watch, or say things that bring out that inner child because I had to act older than my age my entire childhood to please my parents. Sometime, like you said, i feel the same way i did as a kid when i am triggered by a memory and the scary feelings rush in. But then at the same time I try to remind myself that its not who you are now and that even without a trigger making you feel that way it's still okay to not always be so serious. The feel sucks, but I think acknowledgment rather than shame and kindness and understand towards yourself help when those triggers rush in. No one may have been there for you then but you can only try to help and be there for the child that's in your memories and within you. I don't know if this makes any sense or helps, but it's just some stuff I try to think about and sometimes it helps. You're not alone and I hope you truly know that especially through this app as we're all alike and understanding of each other in some way.

      • Arctic

        634d

        @Tata01 yes this makes a lot of sense don't worry! thank you for your thoughts. I try to be understanding, but it can be hard a lot of the times. it's very difficult to unteach yourself a lot of the "lessons" you were taught growing up.

        • Tata01

          629d

          @Arctic I agree. I think those "lessons" that weren't appropriate for a kid growing up really interrupt the self growth we try to have with ourselves. We act on what we know and a lot of what we know is hurt or things that are untrue that you've been told to believe. It's hard to be understanding of our thoughts and past thoughts but it's all we can try to do for ourselves to try and move forward. Best of luck to the both of us!!

    • YanyLaurel

      634d

      My sibling can definitely relate. It happens to them a lot. You are not alone. I wish I personally understood it better from experience so I could help more. but you certainly are not alone.

      • Arctic

        634d

        @YanyLaurel this was very heart warming to read. I'm very glad your sibling has you, and you have your sibling! it doesn't seem like you judge them at all, and I think, personally, just having someone who doesn't judge me and who I can trust not to judge me makes everything so much easier. if your sibling knows this, I can assure you you're helping them a lot already.

        • YanyLaurel

          626d

          @Arctic thank you for saying that! Yeah they know I never will judge. Today we were talking about the different parts of us. They have been doing IFS regularly and it's helped them a lot. I did a little bit and it already helped me a ton. It really helps you have self compassion. The idea is that your body and entire being is made up of lots of different parts, that are trying to protect you or they are from trauma, or something. So for a completely random example when my husband was really stressed out at his job, I told him to quit (many times), and I just couldn't find any other solution because there was a part of me trying to protect the rest of me from feeling emotionally distressed. When I realized this, I told him nevermind because I realized it was just a part of me trying to protect me from difficult feelings. Point is, all throughout the day, everything you do, including regression is a part of your being trying to fulfill its purpose. (They have names and colors, too, if you ask them. There's a part of my chest that likes to nurture others and it's name is Dina. )

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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