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tryingtohealanangel

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Alike newbie here, just thought I'd introduce myself real quick. . . I'm 21 years old and I have some mental struggles. So I am diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety, along with Adjustment Disorder. I am also told that I have ADHD, PTSD, but that's just by some friends and family, so as of now I'm just going to say that I don't know at this point. I am trying to be put on a psychological test at the time, but for now I go to therapy. To be more clear on whether or not I have PTSD or ADHD, I will further explain. I, in the past, had a family member try to commit suicide and almost flatline. They that night had to be taken out by ambulance and ever since then, I react to the sirens. Along with ambulance, I also react to police sirens, due to my family member always getting caught by them, either from running away or being at school. They're older than me and have made a big impact on me, I can't imagine ever losing them so quickly. The way I react to sirens is that I freeze, have a black 'feeling' (best way I can describe it) rush down my chest into my stomach when I close my eyes tight, and shake. So onto explaining my ADHD, I will be in a conversation and then I will either, go into another one or I'll look around. Another way is that I'll be focused on getting what I need in stores and then decide to get something else that I don't even need. But honestly, I don't think I personally have this, it's easy and common for people that know me to say this. . So now going on with my Depression/Anxiety and Adjustment Disorder. Back on August 24th of 2021, I had lost someone extremely close to me. That someone really close to me was my very last Nana. She was 70 years old and had passed away from two progressing cancers unexpectedly. I was 19 years old when I had watched her peacefully pass away in her sleep. It was the world's most unexplainable painful thing I could see. She had raised me in my entire life and she was basically all my family in one. My parents weren't in the picture and yet she was clearly in the frame, for my whole life. When she passed on that day, I felt as though she had left the picture. That day, I felt lost, heartbroken, orphaned, and in denial. I still have a hard time coping with it all and the fact she's not here anymore. The fact that she was gone within the last of my teen years, it's a big impact. I felt like she could've been here longer, but at the same time I feel really really selfish for saying that. I should accept that she's no longer in so much pain and that I should be moving on to help her be there, in the greatest place, but it just seems so difficult and different in some way. There are some days where I just want the need to pick up the phone and hear that amazing, life changing, loving woman, but all I can do is try and remember what she would sound like or say. She meant everything and I mean everything to me. So, I decided to come on this app to see if I could find someone or some way to help cope with this all. Advice is helpful and I will let you know I'm already in therapy. Also to the ones who know the world of pain to lose someone so close whether it be close family or friend, or pet, or anyone, I am so sorry. I know sorry isn't enough, but if you need to vent or need someone to talk to, feel free to dm me. I hope for healing and recovery for you along with staying strong. Alright Alikees, see ya around and sorry for the long post/vent.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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