In-laws gave my family COVID-19 and chaos ensues

A song I listen to on days when all he'll breaks loose is "it's gonna be okay" by Tasha Layton. Google it. It always helps me.

One thing I always tell myself. Shit will happen. But not always. Say this over and over "It won't always be like this. You'll figure it out. It'll be okay. We always manage and find a way"

Yesterday was one of the worst days I've had in a really really long time. I don't know why but every single thing that could possibly go wrong did.. I have not been feeling well. I also just acquired some completely unnecessary but stressful bs, by getting myself arrested. Im in so deep. My house is leaking and full of termites, my vehicle needs maintenance and my body is not cooperating with me at all. Ive bee trying to do whatever I possibly can to get my body and mind to a stable and tolerable place but I raged out last night.. I worked out so hard on Sunday that I couldn't move my arms monday.. that was fun. Honestly I couldand sometimes wish to just go on and on with all of the things that I have on my plate right now, all the medicine I take to try to get my body to be even remotely normal.. Im scared, I'm trapped and im uncertain. I feel like I'm in hell sometimes. Im beyond exhausted, I literally put one foot in front of the other each day and take it step by step. I feel fortunate on the days that aren't so bad, and I try my best to take advantage of those days but the lack if control and uncertainty has been killing me. I wish I could vanish. I never knew that so many bad things could happen to one person at one time until I lost my mother, never had a dad so I think I failed at raising myself. That sux. I know we can't vanish but possibly, just maybe, this might help you in some way, knowing that I legitimately feel like I'm being picked on by some kinda of life controlling entity. I totally and completely understand and feel like that almost all the time. I feel so broken, and have no clue what to fix. Message me anytime. Im a good listener when I have time and a problem shared is a problem cut in half. God bless you, I pray things get better for you 🙂