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Kashmir01

611d

for those who use mobility aids, did anyone have imposter syndrome beforehand? i am testing a rental power chair this weekend and just feel so insecure and not disabled enough to use it. any suggestions to ease that anxiety? or will the exposure help?

Top reply
    • Officialishness

      585d

      Yeah definitely I have been on a PT plan where I am supposed to try to go on walks with a rollator but I haven’t done it. It’s been months and I still can’t motivate myself to step outside the house with it alone - on a cruise I had to use a wheelchair and I didn’t feel too awkward because I didn’t know anyone but at home I feel so weird about using one 😥

    • Officialishness

      585d

      Yeah definitely I have been on a PT plan where I am supposed to try to go on walks with a rollator but I haven’t done it. It’s been months and I still can’t motivate myself to step outside the house with it alone - on a cruise I had to use a wheelchair and I didn’t feel too awkward because I didn’t know anyone but at home I feel so weird about using one 😥

      • Kashmir01

        585d

        @Officialishness that is how i feel !! like using it at college feels the most uncomfortable but better in other places. definitely a weird feeling that i dislike, but, hopefully, one day it’ll dissipate :)

    • rylesmcgyles

      596d

      yes! for me it’s mainly bc i don’t have a “formal” POTS diagnosis, as every doctor i’ve seen for the past 7 years as my symptoms kept progressing would skirt past using the word POTS and instead just describe it, so i feel like i need to have a proper diagnosis to be “allowed” to use any kind of aid. it’s very discouraging and mentally draining, and i typically end up giving up and going home instead of accommodating myself because i feel like i shouldn’t be using aids. luckily everyone around me is very encouraging with using aids, but the imposter syndrome is very real!

      • Kashmir01

        596d

        @rylesmcgyles i definitely think with my POTS allowing me to be ambulatory sometimes definitely just causes confusion with if i even need an aid sometimes. when i tried it, it was super helpful. sure, my HR was high but also it was hot and i woke up with my period lol. when i suddenly had to stand and walk for about 7 minutes i felt the difference. i think i would feel the most insecure at school, so honestly it’s something i need to think about and just feel comfortable pursuing. if my brain could stfu that would be perfect

    • royalty

      602d

      Yes, especially because mine wasn't prescribed and my doctor basically told me I don't need it even though it's made my life so much easier and I can get out of the house without wasting a bunch of spoons. But every time I use it I feel like I'm not disabled enough and maybe my doctor was right and blah blah blah gaslighting myself left and right.

      • anemone

        597d

        @royalty mine said the same. she also said "inpatient is for people who are really sick, you're not there yet" when i disclosed that i was planning on going into inpatient care. i was admitted that night. months later, i still have trouble trusting that my providers actually believe me when i describe my symptoms. a lot of the time, primary care doctors don't know jack shit about anything that isn't the common medical experience. my therapist, the group facility where i'm currently receiving services, and everyone in the er believed me when i told them i was in a dire situation and needed help. but my primary care doctor said two little sentences that have wormed their way into my head - and that's what makes it so sinister! the person who SHOULD know these things, who i trust to manage my health, is the exact person who minimises my experiences and does lasting damage because of assumptions she's made. my occupational therapist, who treats mainly patients with chronic and/or invisible illness (and who is thus, in my opinion, far more qualified to say so) highly supports me using a wheelchair for my fatigue, dizziness, weakness and pain. she also supports me getting stronger and exercising - the thing my primary care doctor was likely trying to get at - but knows enough about it to understand why it's helpful and support me in my choice to use the aid. tl;dr... get a better doctor if you can, lol. it's ironically hard to find doctors that are properly supportive of invisible illness, but they do exist (and i found one for myself after ruminating on my experience!) if you aren't able to switch, just know that while the intent was probably good, the effect is planting that seed of doubt, and that much is undeniably sinister. a physical or occupational therapist who specialises in invisible illness will be much more equipped to advise you on ambulatory wheelchair use and the effects on your health that can come with it. and they will likely be far more supportive and understanding while doing so ;;P

        • royalty

          597d

          @anemone Yeah my bf and I are looking for another doctor because my PCP's medical gaslighting is starting to get ridiculous

      • Kashmir01

        602d

        @royalty i- doctors are the worst sometimes. like i only have two good ones who believe me and know that i’m an expert on my body…i’m so sorry they said to you, definitely uncalled for :/

    • NeoVengance

      602d

      Yeah, I have a wheelchair and I really struggle with impostor syndrome, even though it makes a marked difference in my overall well-being, to the point even my friends notice

      • Kashmir01

        602d

        @NeoVengance yeah that’s basically the dilemma i’m in now too :( like i’m able to do so much more with it. sure, putting it together takes a lot of spoons, but walking takes more; and i can possibly have a seizure or syncope. i feel like i just have to get comfortable, but idk if i even will

    • Ashley_W

      602d

      Absolutely. Don’t let that stop you. That’s ableism talking in our ears. It’s so empowering and freeing once you go for it. Disability can be very dynamic for many of us. Just because we aren’t paralyzed doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to use mobility aids. And what that looks like for you and your needs can change daily and in any given situation. Go for it and live life!

      • Kashmir01

        602d

        @Ashley_W the insecurity is definitely holding me back 🥲 while i feel comfortable being disabled, i feel like the worst place will be school. college students just don’t understand people who are ambulatory but still need a mobility aid, or just the concept of a dynamic disability. it helped a lot this weekend, so i hope i can just feel more comfortable to actually persue it!

        • Ashley_W

          587d

          @Kashmir01 practice makes perfect ❤️ or at least better haha.

    • Student_girl

      604d

      YES. I have been using them for a year and I still have imposter

      • Kashmir01

        604d

        @Student_girl ah damn :( i really hate how there’s a weird expectation of what one should look like when using a wheelchair…able-bodied people yet again making decisions for those who have disabilities :/

    • E.m.m.a

      611d

      I’ve not gone through this but like the saying even if people can see somewhat without glasses doesn’t mean they don’t need glasses to see. Some people can hear without hearing aids but doesn’t mean that getting them won’t make life easier. It’s all about the quality.

      • anemone

        604d

        @E.m.m.a this comparison is useful, i tend to supplement the "i don't have to be desperate to find an aid useful" with "it is an item i purchased for myself, i can use it when i damn well please" lol. just because i'm physically capable of getting out of my chair and walking doesn't mean it's easy, comfortable, or safe for me to walk unaided

      • Kashmir01

        611d

        @E.m.m.a it’s always interesting how another perspective helps a lot. thank you! ❤️

    • anemone

      611d

      not just beforehand, i still feel like i'm not disabled enough to use my chair every time i do. i even feel guilty about my cane. but my rollator was prescribed and i'm supposed to have an appointment with a pt for wheelchair fitting, because my current chair (which ive had for a year) is kind of a piece of junk lol, and i'd like a power chair or at least something that's a bit less prone to falling apart... so basically, yes, i do feel like that, and have even had others take those feelings out on me (a psych in the hospital did so - "you can get up and get it yourself" while i had no mobility aids?? even though she had just met me and had no authority to be deciding my physical health needs...) and that kind of stuff really sticks in your brain, even when you know the aids are helpful to you and other providers agree good luck with the power chair, i hope you find it useful

      • Kashmir01

        611d

        @anemone the ableds really be wildin and suck sometimes !! i’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that before :( that is one of my fears with using it in college…i know i won’t need it for all days or if i’m running late to class, i’ll feel judged either way. but if anyone is rude i’ll accidentally roll over their feet 🥰 thank you so much for sharing this! it is really helpful and valuable 💞

        • anemone

          604d

          @Kashmir01 using the wording "ambulatory wheelchair user" might be helpful if they question you. i figure that anyone who's uneducated enough about disability to question a wheelchair user walking part of the time will be confused by the term enough to lay off, and that's the intended meaning besides

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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