Imposter Syndrome and Mobility Aids

that is how i feel !! like using it at college feels the most uncomfortable but better in other places. definitely a weird feeling that i dislike, but, hopefully, one day it’ll dissipate :)

i definitely think with my POTS allowing me to be ambulatory sometimes definitely just causes confusion with if i even need an aid sometimes. when i tried it, it was super helpful. sure, my HR was high but also it was hot and i woke up with my period lol. when i suddenly had to stand and walk for about 7 minutes i felt the difference. i think i would feel the most insecure at school, so honestly it’s something i need to think about and just feel comfortable pursuing. if my brain could stfu that would be perfect

mine said the same. she also said "inpatient is for people who are really sick, you're not there yet" when i disclosed that i was planning on going into inpatient care. i was admitted that night. months later, i still have trouble trusting that my providers actually believe me when i describe my symptoms. a lot of the time, primary care doctors don't know jack shit about anything that isn't the common medical experience. my therapist, the group facility where i'm currently receiving services, and everyone in the er believed me when i told them i was in a dire situation and needed help. but my primary care doctor said two little sentences that have wormed their way into my head - and that's what makes it so sinister! the person who SHOULD know these things, who i trust to manage my health, is the exact person who minimises my experiences and does lasting damage because of assumptions she's made. my occupational therapist, who treats mainly patients with chronic and/or invisible illness (and who is thus, in my opinion, far more qualified to say so) highly supports me using a wheelchair for my fatigue, dizziness, weakness and pain. she also supports me getting stronger and exercising - the thing my primary care doctor was likely trying to get at - but knows enough about it to understand why it's helpful and support me in my choice to use the aid. tl;dr... get a better doctor if you can, lol. it's ironically hard to find doctors that are properly supportive of invisible illness, but they do exist (and i found one for myself after ruminating on my experience!) if you aren't able to switch, just know that while the intent was probably good, the effect is planting that seed of doubt, and that much is undeniably sinister. a physical or occupational therapist who specialises in invisible illness will be much more equipped to advise you on ambulatory wheelchair use and the effects on your health that can come with it. and they will likely be far more supportive and understanding while doing so ;;P

i- doctors are the worst sometimes. like i only have two good ones who believe me and know that i’m an expert on my body…i’m so sorry they said to you, definitely uncalled for :/

yeah that’s basically the dilemma i’m in now too :( like i’m able to do so much more with it. sure, putting it together takes a lot of spoons, but walking takes more; and i can possibly have a seizure or syncope. i feel like i just have to get comfortable, but idk if i even will

the insecurity is definitely holding me back 🥲 while i feel comfortable being disabled, i feel like the worst place will be school. college students just don’t understand people who are ambulatory but still need a mobility aid, or just the concept of a dynamic disability. it helped a lot this weekend, so i hope i can just feel more comfortable to actually persue it!

ah damn :( i really hate how there’s a weird expectation of what one should look like when using a wheelchair…able-bodied people yet again making decisions for those who have disabilities :/

this comparison is useful, i tend to supplement the "i don't have to be desperate to find an aid useful" with "it is an item i purchased for myself, i can use it when i damn well please" lol. just because i'm physically capable of getting out of my chair and walking doesn't mean it's easy, comfortable, or safe for me to walk unaided

it’s always interesting how another perspective helps a lot. thank you! ❤️

the ableds really be wildin and suck sometimes !! i’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that before :( that is one of my fears with using it in college…i know i won’t need it for all days or if i’m running late to class, i’ll feel judged either way. but if anyone is rude i’ll accidentally roll over their feet 🥰 thank you so much for sharing this! it is really helpful and valuable 💞