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Donut

710d

How do you explain PTSD to your partner? My PTSD/CPTSD is relaxed to sexual abuse with a former partner. When I first shared this with my boyfriend (~4-5 years ago), our physical relationship immediately changed. Since then, he’s rarely initiated anything and I don’t really know how to explain that he’s making the situation so much worse. I’ve tried to bring it up before and it seems to just go over his head. It’s like I’m suddenly fragile and untouchable, which constantly makes me feel like I’m too damaged.

Top reply
    • Nutmegs_Mom

      705d

      Couples therapy can help. I found it was a lot easier to explain with a third party present.

    • Nutmegs_Mom

      705d

      Couples therapy can help. I found it was a lot easier to explain with a third party present.

    • Leo_Yanofsky

      710d

      you could probably explain to him that it doesn’t mean you don’t wanna be physical, just that it means you may have extra boundaries. something that could help is explaining exactly what you’re comfortable with.

    • SAMHAIN

      710d

      ☝️💯‼️ wooowww so well-said 🙏 finding outside resources which resonate with you and passing them on is super duper key. If that doesn't elicit the response you needed... ...well, IMHE with trauma and this kind of abuse... Same "general relationship rules" apply: if you feel like you have to change the person you're with or they don't make their own outward effort to understand you and your concerns, then you're with the wrong person for you. How to address or emotionally get past this is its own whole other problem, but facing it is the big first step. Regardless of how old your history may be with the person, if this is the situation you find yourself in presently, well 💁 trying to "fix" things is likely to cause more harm than good in the end. Best of luck

    • OuchiePrincess

      710d

      My partner has PTSD. We understand each other well. I would recommend his education on this subject be done by someone other than yourself. It’s too much emotional labor to try to explain why intimacy is so hard rn. I would refer him to websites or articles that would educate him further, perhaps centering on trauma-based healing. This is bigger than you, it’s a societal problem too, and it cannot be your sole responsibility to educate him. perhaps try to find another couple that is working through similar issues and ask if you could learn together? Honestly, you need his support more than you need his d*ck right now, and if he isn’t willing to see that, you need someone else. I’m so sorry I didn’t know how to say that any more nicely. I wish you so much grace in your healing process. I hope he can come to see how best to help you, as well.

    • Sadako

      710d

      I had a similar situation with my except it didn't result in added trauma. Just resentment. It has resulted in me being worried about being overbearing on my boyfriend who has a lower libido. I think it really depends on how you may express yourself there after. It'll probably require you to put in work on your side as far as actions, for your partner to have confidence to initiate like normal. I don't know all the details but I tend to tip toe around my bf because he has his issues. Being on the other side of that I'm afraid of making him too uncomfortable and overstepping boundaries, because he doesn't express alot of desire an it becomes a guessing game.

    • Donut

      710d

      Oops, I should have proofread! I meant to say it’s related to sexual abuse.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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