Help! I'm Struggling with Relationship Insecurity

I agree, if there are signs don’t ignore them. There have been times (not in a relationship) that I’ve ignored actual signs of a bad situation because I thought I was being paranoid. There’s a balance between ignoring signs because you don’t want them to be there and creating imaginary signs (for example if someone doesn’t reply to your text for a day and you take that as a sign they don’t like you even though it’s not), and it’s a hard one to reach. It’s especially hard since it’s difficult to tell what’s a real sign and what’s a result of paranoia. Again, the first step is to bring up these concerns with him whether or not he’s cheating; if he’s not you can work together to work through that anxiety, and if he is obviously you still need to confront him. Talk with friends as well to get their opinion since they’ll know the situation better and can offer you support both in the relationship and if it ends. Not even sure if these replies are helpful anymore since the post was made a month ago, but every situation is unique and you know yours best~

Don't forget those subtle clues and then put everything together 15+ years later after multiple kids. It's not fun. Keep a journal, might help you reflect on things.

It could go either way. I know I will randomly get that same feeling that I’m convinced my husband is cheating but for me I know it’s my trauma speaking and I need to let go of those thoughts as he’s never shown proof of any behavior that gives red flags. So that’s how I know it’s me who needs to work on it, not him. However, if your partner is giving you some signs that he is cheating I wouldn’t ignore those subtle clues. Definitely good to be sure before confronting but don’t commit yourself to a relationship that is not worth your time and energy if he is causing issues for you. Therapy will help no matter which way it goes.

I don’t think he’s likely cheating on you. Obviously I don’t know the details of your relationship, but I don’t think that’s the conclusion to jump to. I understand being paranoid because you believe you’re not enough for the person you love. If he’s not giving you a reason to believe he’s cheating or that he’ll leave you, then he almost certainly won’t. If the relationship is healthy then you can work on yourself while being together and supporting each other. If you really are concerned, then bring it up to him because holding it under the surface never ends well, but otherwise I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

Nope. He's probably cheating on you. Better to work on securing yourself. He'll either encourage the independence and growth because he loves you or he'll want to keep you closed in because the smart ones always get away.