Heartbroken and Devastated: When Betrayal Tests Your Faith

@Sincity life definitely must go on. In a few years, after this madness has settled and a new madness has begun, my kids are going to still need me to help them navigate through adulthood. That's the only reason I haven't just said fck it and went and joined a trap house, or just sleep on the sidewalk.

@Sincity yeah, I know it isn't right to feel the way I feel, I'm just so sick of it!!!! And omgosh, were we dating the same guy???? (joking) I declare I just ended a 10 yr uninvited "friendship" a few months ago. I'm glad I was strong enough to, but it doesn't hurt any less than someone who isn't strong enough to leave: mine just won't hurt as long. But he was definitely a gas guzzler, and his situation was better than mine!!! That's how it is with most people. All you can have is a smile on your face, no money, no food, no clothes, just a smile. They can have it all but just because your smile is authentic, they want you dead. It's the stupidest thing I can ever know. And I feel you on the praying part. I been praying and fasting every month for 3 yrs now for this situation with my kids to change and it just keeps getting worse. As a matter of fact, each time I come off a fast I get a devastating phone call. 😥😥😥😥 But for some reason, I just can't let Him go, and He just won't let me go either. My entire life has been proof that He is real, there's absolutely no way I can deny that. And that's what's making me feel some type of way because I know He's real, and I know there's NOTHING he can't do. I just need Him to pay attention to ME right now. I've been in this thing for the long haul and it's time to answer a pray doggone it. Either that, or just go ahead and shut down the whole program, cuz it ain't like it's a beautiful scene out here anyway. 😖Smh. My heart is just so hurt right now. I really hate it here.

@Sincity omgosh don't get me started! But I've closed myself off, if I can't stop helping people then I'm just going to get away from them. It's naturally in me to help, but people just take take take and the whole time they see you need help too. They're quite capable of helping you, but they won't do it. Just stand there looking at you with their noozle stuck in your back, draining you dry like a gas tank. 😐 They pretend like they're going to be helpful, but the honest to God truth is that something is extremely wrong with the vast majority of people today, and I don't mean people like you and me because we're the ones being hurt, which means we're not the ones hurting others. The ones that are hurting others are the ones that say we're "crazy", but they're the ones going around hurting others for no reason. Pure sucking the life out of others, and doing it while functioning 100% in society with a smile. 😁.....smh. I'm seriously ready for life to be over. Not just mine, everybody's!! Let's just wipe the slate clean and start creation tf over. I swear I'd hope Adam would beat Eve every morning before he left next time. Beat her so she don't go nowhere and don't talk AT ALL. 😩

@Sincity and it's like when you express these feelings people act like you're rejecting your faith. And you're like no, mfr, I'm hurting, and I just want to know wtf is going on!!!! This sh** sucks!!!!