My Hallucinogenic Trip and Its Lasting Effects

I was spiked with hallucinogens (probably ayuahasca) in 2016. I had a paranoid trip and lost all connection with reality. I believed a magician was testing me and I talked to him telepathically at the time. The event was magic/supernatural/spiritual. Since then I have not felt my thoughts are my own. I’ve felt I’ve been in a TV show ever since and constantly being tested. Painful coincidences happen all the time that I can’t logically explain. I haven’t brushed my teeth in months yet (touch wood) I am having no dental issues. I have spent the last 6 years trying to protect friends and family from my laser like analysis; I often see them make ‘mistakes’ and it causes me great distress. I had an 18 month addiction to the war drug Meth, and got sober in May. I’ve had many assessments with a personality clinic - last time I told them the ‘delusions’ they just looked grave and said ‘we need time to think’. I went to a lecture on DBT and Compassion based therapy for BPD and I wept with joy hearing two clinicians finally speak my language it felt. The PC I attend does not have the same psychological approach and I’m worried they are doing more harm than good. I’m fighting my family daily on going private or trying another PC. I speak out loud at night to explain my behaviour and thought processes because I feel excruciatingly judged and observed. This is about 0.001% of the story and that’s not exaggerating. I’m grateful to be sober and slowly I am feeling happier but this web of knotted thoughts is causing me deep pain as I can’t make sense if it. Having faith / being spiritual saved my life yet it also is the same source my paranoia and delusions come from. I cannot parse them they all feel like deep intuition. Meet Xmas! xD