Honestly, try a fidgit spinner/gadget. My (20 yr old) daughter wanted one and I got one for myself too, a small 2 rings connected with a spinner type joint. I leave it in my car and when traffic is bad I reach grab it and fiddle with it with my hand that's resting on my gearshift. They're not just for kids ;)

I do not experience the same, however branching off of the other commenter something that works for me is a fidget cube, each side has a different function. There's buttons that make audible clicks that sound like a pen clicking, there's buttons that are silent, there's a rubber pad with little raised dots on it, there's a swivel stick that moves in a 360 and also clicks when pressed, and there's a little light switch thing (at least with mine). Maybe a certain texture or clicking action would help?

I'm terrible about fooling with my hair. I keep mine in a knot most times on top of my head in a clip. Makes my head sore but it keeps me from twisting on my hair. When I start to go after a strand. I'll start coloring. Sounds crazy but it works. It seems to calm me down a lot. 🤗

I've done that to the point of having to have my hair cut due to the knots and broken strands, but an old school counselor of mine helped by giving me an old stress toy. It's one of those rubber ones with a bunch of rubber strings coming off of it. I started playing with those instead. Nowadays, I find other things to occupy my hands. Mostly drawing and writing, because they're passions of mine.

When I'm really anxious, I grab my hair and pull it over my nose and smell it. I know that sounds odd...but that's what I do. 👍

I twirl and pull, but the twirling is the fidget I focus on. So I will tie together some long pieces of yarn and untwist the strands to mimic hair. I get the twirl motion and resistance when I pull it out of the knot without damage to my hair ❤️

Get a fidget ring!!! I bite my lips and pick at my skin and my fidget ring changed my life. You can get them cheap on amazon

Have you tried a Tangle? It's a fidget you can just mess with and tangle up in your hands kind of like you might twist and mess with hair. I really enjoy the Tangles and they make both smooth and textured ones

I have been keeping my hair up a lot because I do this. I run my fingers through it so much that the oil from my skin makes my hair look very oily. I keep it up a lot. I have also been messing with my finger nails lately. I have broken them and they look awful. I'm driving myself crazy.