Going off Antidepressants: Need Advice

Does anyone have any experience going off antidepressants after long-term use? I’ve been on nortriptyline, lamictal, and Cymbalta in the past about 8 years, and I’ve found the Cymbalta has completely emotionally numbed me. I can’t cry, I can’t feel joy, I can’t feel excited. I almost miss the mood swings because it’s better than this constant nothingness. I’m seeing a psychiatrist in May to adjust, but I just don’t know what to try. I can’t track symptoms really because the only intense emotion I feel anymore is rage. I feel like all of my best memories since I started it were wasted because I felt nothing. Any recommendations for medication that didn’t do this? I’m in regular therapy and it has helped a lot. Medical cannabis has also been legalized where I am, but I fear if I ask about it they’ll think I’m just drug seeking. It’s truly the only thing thus far that has helped and I’m able to function normally with it.