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Max_F

701d

so I have recently came out as gender fluid/demiboy, and my parents are supportive, sort of, they are fine with it but they won't let me do things such as bind(I'm afab) which I have been feeling really uncomfortable with having a large chest for a while, but they won't let me because it could damage the tissue, which I know the risk of that but I also know what I need to do to keep that from happening. they won't listen saying I am to young to make those decisions, even though I'm a teenager and I need to learn to make my own decisions. I really need help. idk what to do and any advice would be amazing.

Top reply
    • carter._.16

      696d

      @Max_F that's great!!

    • carter._.16

      698d

      Maybe you could find some reliable resources online that they could read! And maybe try to explain how not being able to bind makes you feel. Just really talk to them and get super in depth about everything. Maybe even find some videos from other people who bind and have explanations of hiw it works! From one gender queer person to another, just know that it'll be ok. You'll get to the point you want to be at one day. And it'll be amazing! <33

      • Max_F

        697d

        @carter._.16 thank you very much, I'm actually getting help from my cousin to get a binder currently.

        • carter._.16

          696d

          @Max_F that's great!!

    • wise

      698d

      If you're a teenager, you're not done growing yet and binding could cause SERIOUS damage, not just to breast tissue, but to your entire thoracic cavity, includimg deforming your ribcage and making it harder to breathe for the rest of your life. I know it sucks and it feels like the end of the world, but even "safe" binders are risky if you're particularly busty. Giant shirts and layering go a long way until you're old enough for surgery, even if it's just a reduction, and you should be able to get a reduction covered by insurance if you're big enough. I know it's not what you wanna hear but unfortunately it's just not safe to bind until you're done growing

      • Max_F

        697d

        @wise yes I know, I still would like to try whatever I can to look like I don't though, and if binding helps I would like to try it, I do know the risks and I know that it would be my fault fully if something happened.

    • MaryC

      700d

      I've been through this with my daughter. She prefers he/him & goes by a boy name. (Sorry I still use female pronouns, it's hard to change) Any way, she bought a good binder & is quite comfortable with it. It isn't super tight & does not cause pain or injury. I have talked with her about her preferences & we have discussed any risks associated. We have also discussed how he being "too young" to make permanent changes would affect her. She is 21 now & her feelings haven't changed since she was a young teen. Be patient with your parents, they have your health & safety in mind. You will always be their child no matter how old you are. They will always feel the need to protect you. It is OK to talk about it with them & it is OK to disagree with them. It is all part of growing up. The binder my daughter bought looks like a sports bra, so if you have the money ($60 is what she paid) then ask your parents if it would be OK. Site then what you want & talk to them about the fact that it is safe. If you have any pain then you need to adjust your sizing. Pain & trauma to your breasts can contribute to cancer later in life, that is why your parents concerns are valid. Please be safe & happy. Listen to your parents & hopefully they will listen to you

      • Max_F

        699d

        @MaryC my parents would probably think it is to much money(we are having some trouble rn) but I will attempt to talk to them,thank you.

        • MaryC

          699d

          @Max_F I hear you there, I have medical bills pulling up from breaking my leg, our lease isn't being renewed so we have to move & my husband just lost his job. It is hard times for many people. I wish you well & hope talking to your parents goes well for you

    • Frapples

      700d

      as someone who used to wear "minimizing" bras for large chests, I dont really get all the fear surrounding binding. Like yeah if you try and wing it yourself I get you can hurt yourself, but if you buy a well made one and use as directed, then??? It's fine. Even if breast tissue is damaged, seems pretty minor reason to deny affirming behaviour. Non-vital tissues, can even get breast forms or implants to replace/fix it. Can also hit them with the "too young to decide to be cis/straight then." because it's a dumb argument based on their image of who you are and not listening to who you actually are.

      • Max_F

        699d

        @Frapples sometimes (especially in a family full of cancer like mine) when you get damage to the breast it can help encourage cancer, that is what they are worried about, and I have tried to use that argument about if I use it correctly it won't happen, yet they still won't allow it, thank you though.

    • finnumfuzzum

      701d

      I used to wear two sports bras (without cups). First one on backwards the second on forwards. Hope this helps.

      • Max_F

        701d

        @finnumfuzzum I have tried this it helps but it doesn't do the full binding that I want to have.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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