Feeling Vulnerable and Sensitive After Faith Retreat

Sleep always helps at least a little. Let your brain rest, you'll know when you've reached your limit and how to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. I hope you feel more at ease soon 💕

Thank you, your message means a lot to me (genuinely!). I am staying the night tonight but if anything happens tomorrow, I'm just calling it. I'm not sure if it's the right choice or not, but it's the one I'm making. I hope that I am feeling better tomorrow with some rest.

Yea, this sounds like a no-win situation. I think if you go home and get back to your routine, you'll regret leaving a lot less than you think. Comfort is an invaluable resource when you're disabled, I highly recommend making yourself as comfortable as possible as often as possible. There's no shame is retreating to safety, especially to preserve your health. Whatever your choice is, you're more than capable of handling the consequences, even if it feels like you're not. Sure, there are worse problems to have, but someone who drowned in 3 feet of water is just as dead as someone who drowned in 30 feet of water. It's not a competition within yourself or with others, you're entitled to your feelings about the world around you and you get to decide how you handle it

Thank you, I really appreciate your response. I will look into those headphones for the future, they sound awesome! Today was another really rough day and I had another meltdown. Idk if I've had back to back meltdown days before but it's pretty awful. It's making me so frustrated because it's bringing my depression back too that I was just getting out from under a wave of last Thursday. I am also scared this is bringing back my migraine. I'm so frustrated and heartbroken. I don't want to leave because I don't want them to "win" and "break" me (not that that's their goal of course!), but I am also already broken and just want to be done. I think if I leave early I will regret it, but I worry if I stay I will regret it. I just feel like I can't win. I just want to snap my fingers and not have this be happening. I am well aware there are worse problems to have and that in the scheme of things, I am fine and everything is and will be fine no matter what. I'm just hurting now and it's hard to step outside of myself.

I cringed just reading this. I have chronic migraines and SEVERE misophonia, on top of a sensory processing disorder. sound is the worst, to the point where I have, on more than one occasion, genuinely wished I had been born deaf. I'm so sorry that happened. Do you have ear defenders or ANC headphones? I find ANC works best for me, it filters out all the background noise but it's designed for letting speaking through (and yelling doesn't feel like stabbing an ice pick into your ears!). I would wear those as much as possible until you're back home and able to properly decompress. If you don't have anything, not even earbuds, you can just bunch a blanket or a pillow around your head, or even just put up the hood on a jacket. Anything to get a physical layer between you and sound. I hope you feel better and more relaxed soon ❤️