Feeling of Unfairness with Chronic Illness

I hate the fact that I’ll have to work on making my muscles stronger if I want to enjoy my college years and be able to hike and do all the things an average college student would be doing at the college I wish to go to. I also hate that I can’t normally go and do a sport or go skiing (which is popular in my state due to mountains) or anything. I feel out of place, people constantly hang out with their friends and I go home, do homework (am an AP student who is trying to focus on career before anything right now and am enjoying it) and then I am too exhausted to do anything at all but sit in bed, watch something or read (which sometimes I’m still too tired to do). No one else in my school understands this. Sometimes the class is just exhausting. My chronic fatigue syndrome is acting up during this winter and making me be unable to focus in class for the first few periods. I just hope I can be able to do college classes next year and be done with high school and go to college regularly. I’m nervous that my health will decline and I will struggle with it (my mom did, my sisters were lucky and got through). Its really nerve racking knowing my career may be hard to do if I continue to feel this way.

You're not alone, I've also struggled with chronic illness in my teens and now my twenties. I often feel like I'm wasting the "best years of my life" being in pain. I want you to know, it's never too late to experience good things. FOMO is definitely real, but just because you can't always do what you most want to, doesn't mean there aren't still good things waiting for you on this earth. In your home, in yourself, in those you love, I know it's cliche but if you look you will eventually find the bittersweet beauties around you

I spent my teenage years in and out of the mental hospital because my school forced my parents to get me help. Then in my late 20s I started getting really sick. I always had fainting, joint and stomach problems; it was fine until it got worse. I cannot have kids and I'm surrounded by small children constantly. But the the worst has been after a 3 year diagnosis of gasteroparesis, my Dr said I don't have it and all these years, surgeries and tests have been for nothing. I feel like a science lab frog