Feeling like an outsider in childhood

Instead of speaking out I’d be quite or try not to say things. When I did I came off as the weird kid I just silenced myself and watched the show.

I always feel like people asking “how are you?” Is a scripted conversation. You ever notice how people react when you say anything other than “fine, good,” or “okay?” Tell someone you’re struggling when they ask and you’ll watch the whole script burn. They’ll have no idea how to respond.

Honestly yes although I'm also ADD so my method was more I do what I want so more often than not I stood out like a sore thumb and I was okay with that.

Yepp, have certain questions or phrases I use to continue a conversation because it’s socially acceptable to make small talk.. never know what to say to people and prefer to hang out in silence most of the time

I feel like I know this. I am just starting to learn about autism and how it relates to me and unmasking. Things have been a lot less stressful since I stopped masking and I have been learning my sensitivities. I am highly interested I. This book and am gonna look into it

I can definitely relate to that

Yes! I'd actually show up to school with a script it was so bad. I wasn't masking that bad until 4th grade but I'd have scripts and everything, scripts for friends, teachers, bugs, just anything and pull them out and read them, get upset when the other person didn't follow them and had to be taken out of the room because of a meltdown. It still feels like that sometimes, like at my old job, it felt like all my coworkers had some form of script for some reason even outside of work. Feels like some days, random strangers just have a script to be nice to me and it's just strange. So glad other people experience it

Same here!! Did you also feel you were always on recording.? And that the people you, either, had a crush on, or people who you just generally valued their opinion, we're watching it whenever you weren't with them?

Yes very much so ✋