Feeling Like an Imposter with Chronic Pain

It’s so hard when u feel like you have to prove something even though you can’t ❤️

That's so unfair of him. You were trying so hard and doing all the things and he should be happy for you

My boyfriend is sick of hearing my complaints of pain. I feel like he doesn’t care anymore. He gets upset that I’m doing all this “self care” all in the name of pain mgmt. I’ll go to PT for my sciatic pain, massage for all my body aches and pains, chiro to help with my neck, and go to the gym to try to continue to move my body. He thinks I’m crazy

I relate to this a lot - I have been told flat out you don’t have that - it makes me doubt myself and everything. I don’t even like to tell people about my pain.

Screw them! Only you have to live with yourself, and no one will understand Fibromyalgia unless they have it!

Yes; I feel like if my pain level is anywhere below a 5 then I shouldn't talk about it, like I'm only valid if I'm at the worst possible end of the pain scale. Even though I know logically that able bodied folks live at a 0 pain level. A lot of cultures and society likes to pretend some pain is always normal, but it's not; that's just an excuse to keep people working themselves to death imo

All the time. Especially when it comes to work or family functions. I feel so guilty when I have to cancel last minute because I have a flare up. But I can’t control when my body wants to freak out.

I feel your pain. I have a handicap tag because of this and other medical conditions, and the dirty and disbelieving looks I get from older people (I’m 25) for using those spots make me feel horrible. I’ve yet to have someone actually say anything to me, but I’m dreading that day.

I’ve always felt like that. People would always hit me in school to be funny & when I would make a noise or cry, they’d say, “there’s no way that hurt”. That was horrible. I feel your pain, no pun intended. Do any of you guys take medication for fibro??

Oh absolutely. I don’t have an official diagnosis yet so that SUPER doesn’t help the imposter syndrome. I always feel so fake when I tell people I have a disability because legally I don’t but in reality I do… stuffs complicated and I hate it sometimes.

Yes, my mom always goes "I think I have that too" (she doesn't) in order to make the conversation about her.

All the time! I get annoyed with myself when I start saying how I'm in pain anymore because I feel like no one believes it. Wasting my breath talking about it so I just don't.

Yes. I apologize frequently to my husband for my existence. I feel like it can’t be that bad if I have it and can get out of bed. If someone else told me that they have the same things I have going on, I would *never* dream of telling them to do what I do.

Yeah I hate when I'm only seen as lazy and careless when truly there's so much I wish I rather be doing than suffering in pain.

Yes! Internalised ableism has such a strong impact on the way we view our pain and bodies. After being told time and again that “you don’t look sick” or the like or comparing ourselves and being compared, it’s hard to think beyond that. It’s exhausting

My parents always told me it was all in my head and I'm faking all of it growing up into high School. Now that I've been diagnosed with fibro I know that it's all really even back then. Even now I know my boyfriend believes me but anytime I can prove to him that everything is real I take that chance. It's hard to believe yourself when everything you feel is invisible. You just have to trust that you know your body and that it's real sometimes taking the medicine and the medicine helping shows me that it's real.

Absolutely. I struggle to feel as though my pain is real and deserving of care. I find myself thinking “others have it so much worse”. It’s helpful to remind yourself that your experience is real regardless of what others say. Pain is difficult to understand, especially if you’re not the one experiencing it. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with feeling this way