Feeling Left Out When Friends Make New Friends

i get so annoyed when my friends make new friends. i'm really bad with change and when a friend makes new friends, especially one who they like more than me, i get incredibely annoyed and jealous. it's like they're leaving me for them. and i've had the same group of friends for a while. two of my best friends left me recently for new people and that was a terrible struggle. i hate change and finding new friends. i wish they'd just stay. it makes me feel like a bad person because what if i am ? i think sometimes about how maybe my friends hate me and that's why everyone leaves me, because i'm a bad person. i get so jealous when my friends make new friends. and i'm nobody's first choice. my two best friends... one has his boyfriend who he loves much more than me, and the other has her two best friends. all my online friends have in-person best friends, and my other friends who i don't talk to as much have their best friends. the man i'm currently interested in who goes to my trade school has his female best friend who i'm 90% sure he's interested in. even my mom and i have a great connection, but i'm sure she prefers my brother. and my dad left me the moment i was born. it's so annoying. i just wish someone loved me the way i love them.