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Warning:The content may contain sexual or violent material that could be triggering.

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4byfour

Updated 11mo ago

Why can't I feel turned on around people?

Nsfw Why is it that I don’t ever feel turned on around people? Female and male. Like, sometimes I am, but then I guess I don’t get turned on enough to actually want to do anything. I know I’m not asexual because sometimes I feel something, but in general, I feel like I’m an incomplete ‘person’. I haven’t done anything with myself in 2 weeks. Honestly, I cried when I tried today. I’ve always been like this. Does anyone else struggle with this?

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ClayBrooks

1y

Yeah. I was put on progesterone when I was 13 and my dad thinks thats why but idk, yeah ive had crushes but its never been...sexual? I mostly identify as demisexual meaning I need q close relationship with someone to really want to do the sideways tango. Don't get me wrong i see the appeal of it and i can see it being fun and enjoyable but its...idk not a need. Its more of something i would do to pass the time? Or when im in a deep romanic relationship than i think it would be more of a want. Idk its hard to explain
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4byfour

1y

thank you so much for understanding me! I’ve also always had crushes that weren’t sexual. I remember in middle school kids would talk about the hottest celebrities, and I’d have favorites and fixations but like, I never found them ‘hot’! Perhaps I’ll look into demisexuality
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SwordInTheDarkness

1y

I think you're perfectly normal. People paint sex as a "need," but more people than one would think have little to no interest in it.
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4byfour

1y

thank you! I definitely fall victim to worrying about being ‘different’ a lot and this comment helps a ton
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Gingeralamode

1y

I do quite often! It's extremely common with sexual trauma. Also being asexual just means you're not sexually attracted to a person. You can be aroused but not attracted or anything in between :)
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4byfour

1y

thank you!!! I actually didn’t know that! What would the term be for someone who doesn’t experience arousal?
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RiverAquarius

1y

Hi there! Well, personally I'm demisexual and pansexual - basically I only experience sexual attraction after already having a deep emotional connection with someone, and then it doesn't matter their gender. However, demisexual does fall under the asexual umbrella. You said you're not asexual because you sometimes have feelings, but honey, sexuality is a spectrum! Have you considered like, asexual biromantic? Or gray rock ace? There's so many different terms out there, and sometimes one will just click! And sometimes not, and that's ok too! ❤️
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superstellar

1y

totally agree with what everyone else is saying! check out some communities revolving around asexuality, they might help give you some clarity! this also may be a symptom of past abuse. for me personally, i know i struggle with sexual attraction because of my past history with sexual abuse. i still feel things on occasion, but it’s never a definite. you are not less of a person because you don’t feel these things— sex is not a need! you are just as much of a person as someone who identifies as hypersexual, etc! good luck on your journey! ❤️
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Randy42069

1y

I have the same feeling. But whenever it happens it happens in public which I feel embarrassed
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AnimalBoy

1y

You could still be on the ace spectrum, theres a huge amount of labels including grayace which means feeling attraction occasionally but not as much as other people or demi ace which means only being attracted to people tou feel really close with or have romantic attraction to.

The content in this post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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