Feeling Empty: How Do I Help Myself?

i keep feeling like i need to cry for no reason. its weird. i dont cry i stop myself because i hate crying in front of other people but, ill just be thinking about something thats maybe kind of upsetting and ill get that little tinge in my eyes. it keeps happening and it weird because i normally dont cry, i hate crying in general. i'll normally only cry if im having a bad anxiety attack then i cant help it. i thought maybe i was overwhelmed but i have nothing to be overwhelmed about. its just strange.

lately I've been feeling really down. no motivation to do much of anything, and going to work feels like raising someone from the afterlife. I've been feeling really lonely, when I think about people I've loved in the past and I start to get sadder and sadder to the point of crying, but no tears come out. I just hold onto my pillow and wait for the emotional destabilization to go away. it seems like any time I talk about my feelings of sadness they start to leave and I feel fake, I feel like none of this is real? it's the feeling of undeniable fear that someone will listen to me speak about my issues and call me a liar, tell me I "self-diagnosed" myself with depression. I feel depressed, I'm not diagnosed with depression, but I've been feeling depressed for a while now. from little spouts here and there to now feeling empty inside since 2020ish. I don't know what I should do. I think I need to see someone sometimes, but it's mitigated by venting it out to someone, or listening to music that makes me feel better, but at some point I need a real representation of "help". I don't know for sure what I need to be doing.

Feeling Alone in an Empty Feeling