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Haruno

605d

Honestly I never thought I'd share this, it's not a big of a deal but I hate it. I think this started when 6th grade ended, I'm starting highschool this year so not very long. I've been recently *diagnosed* with depression and I just want to know if anyone else feels like this. Most of the time when I'm around my friends I feel empty. Sure, I love my friends, they help me through a lot, they've stuck with me even when I was being stupid. But I never feel like they truly cared/care for me. Sure they never did anything to make me feel like that but it's always been in my mind even when I don't want it to, that nobody loves me, that nobody really cared for me. In my mind I want to believe I'm going nuts because of how much they all gave me, but I can't help it. It doesn't help when my parents, specifically my dad, keep telling me to *Get over it.* or *But people do care for you, so that feeling isn't there your making it up.* And when my mom just asks me *Why do you feel like that.* or *Did you read something on the internet to make you think this?* It makes me feel invalid, and this has been going on since I was mainly young. Yet I know my parents, and friends want to help me I know they can't. I also know they love me and care for me, yet I don't feel it, I don't feel the love they give, I don't feel cared for. I don't want this to continue my whole life! Anyone have any advice to help me feel less empty around the people I care for? {I hope this wasn't confusing to read.}

Top reply
    • chihiro.sen

      604d

      @chihiro.sen *meant to add "before that" in front of "i just had to train myself" since you dont have to be completely healed inside to start make progess with external things

    • chihiro.sen

      604d

      god i feel this. Emotional numbess can be a massive part of depression, just as much as feeling down. im working on this stuff, but for me i needed to value myself in myself before i could believe other people valued me. i just had to train myself to reject bad thoughts that i know are just the depression talkng. Over time i got faster at identifying and rejecting them, and now they mostly don't feel true. I also got put on antidepressants that have really helped, so dont feel discouraged if progress feels slow, it genuinely takes time.

      • chihiro.sen

        604d

        @chihiro.sen *meant to add "before that" in front of "i just had to train myself" since you dont have to be completely healed inside to start make progess with external things

    • BethanyWatson

      604d

      I understand this completely. Your emotions are valid, and although I haven't found a way to help yet, I do know that you shouldn't give up and that this isn't going to last forever

    • PrincessAKB

      605d

      I totally understand how you’re feeling and if it means anything to you please rest assured DOES it gets better. I felt the same way ESPECIALLY in middle/high school. I felt so alone even if when I was with friends who said they cared, I just never knew if I could believe that. I also had a lot of self loathing which I think really helped to promote those feelings, thoughts like “why would anyone want to be friends with ME? I wouldn’t even want to be friends with me” were common place. What ultimately has helped me (now 8 years out of high school) is learning to love myself. Having enough confidence and love for me and knowing that the right people will stick around and if they don’t, that’s okay! It wasn’t meant to be has drastically altered my perception on friendship. Especially in high school friends will come and go but usually that isn’t a reflection on you, it’s just life (and it sucks sometimes!). Be kind to yourself and know others have been in similar shoes, you are not alone. Also, it sounds like your mom really means the best and isn’t trying to invalidate your feelings and I’m so sorry that’s how it’s coming across to you. I pushed my mom away for all the same reasons at your age but all these years later I realize everything she did was out of love and she I are closer then ever. If she wants to listen and hear how you’re feeling don’t be afraid to talk to her, I really wish I had!

    • Hannah_6

      605d

      Depression is a hard one as is anxiety. My emotions make me appear about as emotional as my child on a bad day. I didn't realize I had anxiety and depression at first until my doctor just recently diagnosed me with both. I can be a comfort buddy if you want. The world is difficult to understand. Welcome to message me if you have questions about what it's like for me or what I do.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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