Feeling Empty and Contradictory

I feel like everyday I’m just waiting for something to happen. I feel rather numb… I’m not completely devoid of all emotion, but my feelings aren’t as strong as they typically were. I feel so lonely and it hurts, but a part of me enjoys it… I can’t be around other people but I desperately crave attention. I feel as though everything I do/think contradicts the last thought: I’m happy, but I’m sad… I’m tired, but I’m full of energy… etc. I want to do something, go somewhere, be someone who is useful in society!! But I feel like no matter what I’m just… living. I’m not contributing anything special… I’m just waking up, eating, and sleeping. I want to feel good about myself, 100%. I want to feel comfortable around people and hanging out with strangers. I want to enjoy my hobbies… travel… maintain a stable relationship… etc. Nothing has happened lately that should be making me so sad - in fact, i don’t even feel sad. I just feel empty. I don’t know what to do. Does anyone else get what I mean?

Your answer

OodlesOfNoodles

1y ago

God I didn't even know how to put it into words but you just did. I feel that %100. I feel like I'm just existing. Not really going anywhere. Just going through the motions. And yes I want friends, but most times it's hard to socialize. I have good friends but I just don't have the energy to talk sometimes. I still feel very isolated from people, all my life and even now at 21. My only comfort is sleeping or just doing something that takes my mind off it. I have hobbies and plans that I really want to do. Craft ideas and things I really want to get done. I always think maybe tomorrow I'll have the motivation to do them. But I always wake up feeling the same as yesterday. Numb, tired, not even wanting to think about anything. It's like thought fatigue or something. I try to give myself time but yeah it just seems like I'm stuck, waiting for something to change.

Bunn3y

1y ago

RIGHT!! Spot on with the “I’ll do it tomorrow” mentality. I have so many fun ideas of just things I’d love for explore but I always revert back to doing nothing… I guess it’s cuz I’m comfortable with it but I wish I would just… get out of it. Thought fatigue is a nice way of describing it lol I feel like the longer I tell myself “it’ll get better” I’m just excusing my actions (or lack there of). It’s just a never ending cycle and extremely frustrating… if I think too much about it I start having an existential crisis LMAO You’re right though ^-^ I try not to be hard on myself cuz it’s not really something I can change/control per se it’s just annoying. Keeping track of ideas instead of full projects is a really good idea I think I’ll start doing that! Thanks :DD

OodlesOfNoodles

1y ago

Also yes I definitely understand the energy thing. Like I have energy but I can't decide what to use it on and then I get overwhelmed and give up. Or I have mental energy but not physical energy? If you know what I mean. But yeah so far I've just been trying to take baby steps. Anything that makes you happy, do it. You need all you can get. Make a list of things that bring you joy. And give yourself time. Cut yourself some slack. We just have different challenges that normal people don't. It's just a fact of life. There's only so much we can do about it. I also recommend a creative outlet. Even if I can't do crafts physically, I enjoy at least drawing them out to plan them. ~Anything little is still something~

The content in this post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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