Feeling Confused and Overwhelmed

I'm in the same position you are to be honest. I want so badly to have friends who are kind with me but I feel so terrified of commiting to life things.

That's deep

One of depressions confusing attributes. It's either you need all the worlds attention or would like to live under a rock in the middle of the forest. I get you. Try and use each time to It's fullest when you want to be alone do what you enjoy and spend time hanging with yourself do what's right for you and listen to what you need. When you want to be out and about and want attention then go all out make yourself known and live it up! Depression sucks so try and live in the moments between!