Feeling Ashamed of My Bipolar Disorder

Absolutely, but I continue on like it doesn't. I hate how much it impacts my day to day life, my social circles etc. I am filled with so much guilt for things I've done at each side of the spectrum of my mood, I hate how often my meds stop working. But like... Oh well y'know. All I can do is work on myself, and figure out how to handle it. I tell people what's going on, I joke about it, I make it visible. If someone doesn't like me for it, it's their issue. There is a time and a place to disclose of course, but telling people that you know are safe has helped me. A lot

I did the first few years after diagnosis. I had to unpack a lot of it and I found a point of neutrality with it. Its not an easy thing to do but I found being ashamed and angry over it brought more consequences in my life. I am no longer ashamed of having it though when it crosses over into psychotic territory it can be different. It helped when I ditched the people in my life who would judge me for it and make bad excuses for their shitty comments.

After a year of being diagnosed I still can't bring myself to really tell people, even doctors, about it without worrying about being judged. I just know people don't understand. I think part of it is because we don't want to be this way and still haven't accepted it?

The only reason I ever feel like that is because there isn't a lot of awareness about mental illness. I say I have bipolar disorder and someone else agrees and talk about how they are so bipolar when they haven't had their coffee or soemthing like that. Which I don't always have a problem with, but sometimes it's really invalidating. I don't like people veiwing mental conditions as quirks and traits, rather than actual illness.

I am the only one in my family diagnosed. My family is very conservative and mental health isn’t something they believe in for themselves. I highly believe my mother has it but due to their beliefs I can’t really point that out to her. They call me weak minded but I’ve learned that I am actually the strongest I can be because I sought out help. Stay strong and I am always here to shoot a message to if you ever feel negatively! You should never be ashamed! ❤️ you are not your diagnosis! 🥰

I do sometimes depending on the situation. I only recently got diagnosed with it but, like, everyone on my mom's side also has bipolar so it helps me not feel like an outcast lol