Feeling Lost and Alone in My Own Family

I understand what your going through. I dealt with the same thing. I wish that you were not going throught this. Sadly mine has gotten worse the older i get. I tend to isolate myself and give "short" answers to avoid interaction. I don't really talk to other members. I'm not saying do anything I mentioned. Just saying your not alone and if u want to talk I am here.

I'm so sorry. I've been in the same boat for a while. My best advice. Learn to not care.

A lot of this sounds like growing pains and just happens as part of getting older. I know this may not help with what you are feeling in the moment, but know it's natural to start feeling a shift away from your family as you get older. Look into solo therapy without your mom. You deserve a space to process your feelings without judgment. Therapy us a treatment, and right now it sounds like yours isn't working. If you're worried about telling your mom, call your therapist ahead of time and express that you want to have a sessions alone. Do you have any other supports besides your family? Any friends or other family members you can lean on, or even just spend more time with? I know it may seem hard, but it could be beneficial to spend time in a new environment with people that are lifting you up. Remember, at the end of the day you are an adult. You're able to make your own choice and don't need to be perfect for anybody, including your family.

This is not your fault. I know your pain. I felt it more than once, and it is controlling and abusive. I was in a household like that, where a bad man physically abused my mother. Mental illness can cause an individual to see the world differently, and people won't easily understand them. That never makes you any less of a person. This won't be forever, and your life is yours. I do not know your situation in its entirety, but I know trauma when I see it. Ik this will be hard, but try to get them to seek ways to reduce stress and therapy. Further, try to find a way to have solo therapy sessions. I am not a professional, just experienced in this realm of being treated. You don't need to be perfect, and healthy doesn't mean "permanent happiness". It means that you handle your emotions effectively and properly for yourself, no one size fits all. Regardless if you are mentally ill or not, that terminology usually urks me because it subtly says "you're sick and always unwell". I prefer the outtage "special needs, special abilities". I personally have special needs, and I can process information on the fly with ease, and can pick apart how things are made to a short and soft extent just by looking at them long enough! Others are more emotional and poetic. Some are beyond strong. Some are beyond aware! So take your mental status as a point of pride, make it something to celebrate.