Just another bipolar/ hypersexual rant. I'm laying here in bed awake not even tired because of the mania and I'm just so angry. I had a wonderful day and evening and then spent the night just bombarded by sexual content. I bought lingerie, which I don't have the money for, and don't need because I already have a lot, but I literally couldn't stop myself. I questioned myself twice but I still went through with it. I'm just so over the constant hypersexuality. I was supposed to be off apps, that I was using to meet people to hook up with, for 3 weeks and I only made it 2 weeks. I know that it's still an accomplishment because I went 2 weeks, but I hate myself for not meeting my goal by one week. I just feel like when I'm "lucid" I feel guilty and ashamed of myself because it's so taboo, but when I'm in it, and feeding the hypersexual hunger, I love it and want more and kinkier. I don't know if it's even something I enjoy or just the excitement of doing something "bad" and taboo. Either way it just pisses me off and consumes my life. So really just putting all my eggs in the Vraylar basket that it's going to level me out
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