Exploring My Sexual Identity: Ace Spec or Medical Issue?

she/they possible tw for like discussion or semi sexual stuff if that makes you uncomfortable so like, I've always been aware of sexual stuff, i don't remember my childhood much but I've somehow always known about sex. I've known it exists, and like I've learned ab stuff from whispering on the playground or just curiosity leading me to googling stuff. but my concern is, i have like less libido or attraction than other people my age, i feel like. I don't want to disclose my exact age but everything is legal, dw. but like, I've had friends who've talked about their sex lives and encounters and it's frequent and they enjoy it and stuff, but for me it's different. idk if it's just an ace spec thing, or if it's like medical or trauma related. atm i identify as gray sexual, meaning I'm not fully repulsed or disinterested in sex or sexual activity/don't get pleasure from it, but I'm not like as sexual as my peers or whatever's considered normal. like i don't always want stuff and sometimes i just wanna like flirt, yk? but, idk if my experiences and feelings are just bc of that, or if it's something deeper, like a medical thing. like do i genetically have decreased libido or are my hormones off balance making me less interested in sex or sexual activity, even during the typical frame of heightened sexual desire (usually ovulation, some people have said they have increased sex drive right before, during, or after their period, so it really just depends on the person), or is it like because of my antidepressants or other medications, or is it a trauma thing? i have little to no recollection of my childhood, just scattered memories, most traumatically impactful or like really big or emotional things like someone dying, but i have multiple memories of my mom giving me horrible advice or sexualizing me. she'd say stuff like "you have the kind of body that men always want" or "if you wanna keep a husband, you'll need to put out" or just comments or jokes similar to that, indirectly implying her belief that a relationship is based off of sex and sexual favors and that I won't keep a bf or husband if I don't provide those things. It's always made me uncomfortable, and she's been making those jokes and comments since I can remember. I'm not sure if that's the reason for the way I feel, but it always makes me feel bad about myself. She just made another comment like 5 minutes ago, in front of my dad and sister (my mom and dad are divorced but chill with each other for the most part) and everyone but her looked incredibly uncomfortable. when we tell her the jokes are uncomfortable and not funny, she seems so offended. back on track though, I'm not sure what to do, or where to do. i want to figure out the way I work for myself and my current relationship. my bf is super understanding and very no-pressure and respectful and stuff, but I'm scared if I don't understand what I want, it could cause tension or trouble. Idk what my goal or expectation is with posting this, but I'm hoping to find people who feel similarly to me and talk to them and compare experience and feelings and maybe feel less alone, I guess. I can provide my social media in DMS if anyone is interested in talking ab this more in depth thank you for reading!