I have really awful memory. I always second guess myself and have to often take photos to remember if I’ve taken medication and when (which I can tell by the time stamp on my phone) sometimes I even second guess that “did I ACTUALLY take that ibuprofen? What if I take it now and I overdose? Or what if I forgot to take a picture and I take too much?”
It’s really maddening and I’m wondering if anyone else is like this? I also forget things like if the glass of water I just filled up is the one I just put down somewhere or what if it’s soapy water and I drink it and get sick? Or it’s someone else’s and it’s poisoned and I die? I know it sounds outlandish and ridiculous but these are my every day, almost constant struggles.
I am unsure if it is OCD or anxiety related or both? It’s like unless I am intentionally saying in my mind, while I am looking at something, “this is what I am doing” or “this is how much I am taking” (I have to count my Tylenol and ibuprofen several times and take photos of it before I even get myself to take it) and whenever I take my lexapro at night I look at it in my hand and I say in my head “one and one half tablets” before I take it, so I am less likely to forget how much or what I took. Is anyone else this way? I don’t want to use a pill organizer for the medication thing because I’ve done it before and then I forget if I actually refilled it with the right amount or whatever. It just doesn’t work for me. But generally I get like this with most things and wondering if I’m alone. It’s kind of isolating and I feel bad because I’ll often ask my boyfriend “did you see me take this?” And I don’t want to be reliant on him even though he’s great about it. Anyone else with me here?