the biggest metric is making sure what you're doing isn't harmful in any way, to anyone. physically, mentally, emotionally, anything that hurts you or someone else is only going to cause problems. this can be anything from starting fights as an anger outlet to consuming media you think could upset you when you're already in a state. aside from that, though, it depends on how far you are into your mental health journey, and what kind of a stare you're trying to recover from. if you're not able to think clearly at all, distraction is perfectly suited—watch something funny, play a game, jam out, do something to take your mind off what's upsetting you. once you can think better you can move a step forward by reflecting on the situation. it's a difficult balance to strike because you don't want to put yourself back into whatever state you were in before, but you do want to understand your own reaction and what you can try to do next time to handle it better or recover easier on it without needing to turn to something else—that doesn't mean it's bad to need a distraction, just that one might not always be available to you and it's more helpful to do the work internally in the long run. it isn't easy by any measure, and there's no reason to think this is something you "should" know how to do, which I thought for a while. in my experience, that kind of progress happens gradually, and mostly without you noticing, because with enough work and repetition it becomes something of a habit. stay strong 💕