How to Overcome Codependency and Have Healthy Relationships

How do I know if I have a codependency and what do I do about it if I do? over the past few years I was talking to this girl and liked her and ended up buying nudes from her and paid her to cuddle etc (didn't get to sex) and I became extremely emotionally dependent on her and struggled because she wasn't interested in me romantically even though the relationship we had was very similar to what I thought a dating relationship would be like (never had a real one) she cut me off at one point and never explained it until over 2 years later in November when she gets back in touch on fb, the only social media she didn't block me on, and said she had codependency and when I asked her about it I thought she meant that we were dependant on each other and it wasn't healthy. I obviously wanted the attention and I wasn't sure what she wanted. she said hers was different and that she didn't feel right when she was around people who felt down all the time (me struggling with depression). and then she stopped responding again. I've never had a gf and only talked to a few girls online which ofc went nowhere and was always desperate to keep them in my life when I couldn't do anything. I'm 29 and I always feel like I need a girl to complete me and make me feel happy but even knowing that that's not going to fix anything I can't get rid of that feeling of needing to be wanted and loved and serving someone and throughout my life almost any female relationship, after a certain point, I got confused with romance and idk if I can tell the difference anymore. I looked up codependency and even though it seems to be more common when one person is struggling with addiction or alcohol I think I share a lot of the same symptoms including needing to be needed, people pleasing, fear of being alone, rescuing others to my own demise etc. If I do have this thing, how do I move on to live without the need for a woman's approval or love but heal in a way that I can have a real relationship with one without being an emotional burden to them? I've tried cutting myself off from almost all social media to avoid thinking of girls but it always comes back. I don't understand my own emotions and I feel like I have the emotional intelligence of a preteen.