Emily... I can totally relate to most of what you're going through... I too suffer from complex childhood trauma(CPTSD) as well as BPD. I'm always feeling alone and the fear of people because of the trauma responses... I encourage you to seek help with a compassionate therapist, it might take a while to find the right fit bit I have learned so much about myself from getting help... There are trauma support groups and apps like this that help... Guided meditation also helps as well as writing your feelings down.. I hope this helps... I wish the best. Blessed be❤️

I get feelings like I'm in a dream too... like myself nor my surroundings are real. I never thought anyone else felt this way. I get these in episodes. I've had this issue since I was a kid. Very weird.