Hi. So quick backstory uh I’m officially diagnosed with BPD but not DID but I’m starting to have stronger evidence it might in fact be the latter, or possibly both? Not sure. So i just want y’all’s thoughts on the latest odd behavior that I’m now realizing I’ve done all my life, but also suspecting why as well…. Anywho…..
I’ve always avoided scrolling very far back in my own posts on ANY type of social media site, including this one. Never really noticed. Well, I’ve been a bit extra introspective as of late, and noticed sometimes old comments i made that come across my feed for whatever reason make me deeply uncomfortable, for two reasons. 1: i simply have no memory of making them at all and 2: i would never under any circumstances ever ever even say that thing.
Well today it happened again, except this time said disturbing comment was on MY old post…. Which was equally bothersome. Something clicked in my head and, risking worse a bit of discomfort, scrolled back in my own posts pretty far. Some of them i remembered. Some i did not. And a lot of the ‘not’ ones were things i would never say.
I realized without looking (thereby avoiding the most extreme discomfort yet) that i do the same thing (not scrolling back) in the most extreme form with messages. Yikes.
Imo there are vastly compounding issues as to why this is problematic. Please think this thru before replying…. I don’t want to list all the symptoms I’ve come up with that fit the DID requirements perfectly or this post would be 5x this long haha. Also pardon me for not describing better… there’s still a lot of terminology i don’t know.
TL;DR:
Please tell me if this is something a DID individual would experience. TIA 💜