Desperate for Attention: How Do I Stop Wanting to Hurt Myself?

I agree that a lot of drs don’t take autoimmune symptoms seriously. I’m sorry your struggling. 🙏 🤗

I feel you on this!!!!! People can’t see it so they have no idea how to understand it ❤️

I guess I don’t have a recommendation short of trying to ID why a more socially acceptable condition is more appealing, and try to figure out if you can stimulate that being given to yourself without self harm? When I need to feel like I can see a battle ahead of me, with clear cut strategies, I focus in on day my hand pain and figure out what I can do to reduce it, even for a moment, knowing it will come back. IDK if this helps 💚

I know it’s extremely challenging to decouple what we’re taught and told about acute pain (like a broken bone) versus chronic pain, and it’s OK to be angry or defeated about it, to feel your emotions in the hopes they’ll have their lifetime and settle, at least for a bit. You aren’t alone with how frustrating it is to have conditions that don’t seem to have winnable fights, like cancer, clearly mapped out (I was legit thinking about this earlier). For myself, when I find myself thinking about being diagnosed with cancer or being hospitalized, it’s because those events seem so much easier to face and get through than this ongoing, ever unpredictable chronic pain. For me, I try to sit with what that event would give me, if I had it. Chronic pain is an invisible illness (in a society’s lens kind of way), and pain isn’t comparable, yet we’re told all the time we have to PROVE our pain is real and that we’re not weak and whatever other ableist, capitalist bull.

I am sorry you are having such a hard time and I agree only you will know how bad it is and others shouldn’t do or say anything to invalidate that. It is so hard living with pain and you don’t need to prove it to anyone ❤️

Your pain is as real, valid, and disruptive to your daily life as other conditions. You’re the only one who can feel what you do. If people aren’t respectful of what your limitations and needs are then you need to set boundaries and stick to them. You already live with a lot of pain, don’t add unnecessary suffering to appease others expectations.