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Dopaminne

680d

Hi everyone, It feels like I'm slipping into another major depressive episode and its starting to really affect my relationship with my boyfriend of almost 3 years. Even though he tells me he loves me and has given me no reason to think otherwise, I just don't believe he loves me. It feels like my mind is against me and I end up thinking and believing these terrible things. Like he doesn't love me, he's cheating, he's gonna leave me etc. I know its not good but my mental state and my sanity depends on my relationship with him. Its gotten so bad that the other night I attempted to "unalive". It didn't work. A part of me knew it wouldn't work. I just feel like I can't live without him. He's everything to me and so much more. I'm the only one having problems. I'm the only one who thinks this way. What do I do? I know I need therapy but I don't have insurance. Is how I'm feeling normal?

    • kaykaybear

      680d

      I struggle with anxiety and depression. I'm not sure whether it's the anxiety that causes the depression or the other way around. Needless to say I struggle with knowing myself and just feeling real/feeling anything a lot of the time anymore. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and I've made mistakes because I'd get in my head too much and convince myself I dont deserve him and although I love and care for him, I feel empty and like I dont deserve him or that im not worthy of the love I do recieve from him or anyone. He'd literally do anything for me and I would for him as well, that has been and always will he the case regardless of what happens. Because he's forgiven me so much and loves me even considering my mistakes, I feel the same way you do... Like I rely on him too much and like I literalt can't live without him. I'm not sure if it's normal or healthy, but I completely relate. Maybe it's a trauma bond or maybe us as people just cling to any thing/person that we know that cares for us and that brings us joy because on other days we dont feel much at all. My love and prayers go out to you, were all human <3 if you'd like to talk message me ! :)

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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