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4byfour

415d

I have depression, so it’s hard for me to get stuff done sometimes. I’m working on it and I’m actually playing guitar/violin/melodica/etc again!! I’m a huge music nerd, and I can’t tell you how nice it is to get to be…a little more myself. I’m still depressed though. XD. So like, today I did a lot of practicing, but there’s nothing lighting a fire under my butt, so it’s been really hard trying to focus without my mind thinking about trauma and stuff. And although I practiced, my progress is still relatively small. And I still haven’t been brave enough to use it to play _with_ people and make new friends… I keep beating myself up so much and I know I gotta stop it and just go my own pace. Does anyone have any advice? I know I’m okay and that things are gonna get better, and that means the entire world to me. This mean voice won’t shush it though.

Top reply
    • 4byfour

      411d

      @Jen77 I’m really grateful you understand. To finding our normal :)

    • Jen77

      411d

      I used to play my piano before my depression. Now I just can't seem to find any motivation to go over to it and play anything. I also used to paint. The same thing there. One good thing though. I just started going to the gym and doing yoga again. That has really been a big step.

      • 4byfour

        411d

        @Jen77 I’m really grateful you understand. To finding our normal :)

      • 4byfour

        411d

        @Jen77 This warms my heart :) you got this ❤️ high fives all around for the progress! Overshare: I started with this point system. So like, I’d make a tally on my whiteboard anytime I did something that was challenging (even if it’s considered easy for others). Sometimes it was just if I put toothpaste on my toothbrush. One day I graduated to brushing my teeth 🦷 🪥 today I practiced sight reading. It’s just…not always uphill, but tbh, I’m seeing an uphill trend.

    • jipperoni

      412d

      It seems that playing music is a very nice way for you to escape to your own world, and that’s awesome! Hold onto that for sure. Something that’s helped me is songwriting as well, or just putting what I’m feeling into a not so literal form. Not a journal, but creating metaphors for that mean voice or bad feelings, an annoying bug, a rainy day, etc. It doesn’t necessarily have to be good, but at least putting it as a metaphor helps me see stuff better and more in perspective. It’s what actually helped me “conquer” the voice when I finally put it into a metaphor of something small, like a bug. Sure, it’s not a cure all, but it provides some comfort and some feeling of control even tho you don’t have much. Keep chuggin forward, and never let that voice convince you that you’re alone in this journey

      • 4byfour

        411d

        @jipperoni thank you so much 🙏 I might actually take that advice and try to write something. I’ll let you in on the goods! Maybe I’ll write it about a literal ‘bug’, maybe a grumpy one, cuz my voice today is grumpy as hell. I’ll befriend it perhaps

    • shoe

      412d

      Having a distraction 100% works. I try focusing on school. Or whatever I'm learning, I look at as a competition and that I'm going to be the best. Or maybe trying to learn something new, like a language.

      • 4byfour

        411d

        @shoe thank you! I’ll catch ‘em all :)

    • FS_cookielove

      415d

      Do you have any specific questions? I can be a friend if you need

      • 4byfour

        415d

        @FS_cookielove nah, I guess I just needed to vent. I settled for the thought that maybe I’m just scared to play music. I hope you have a good night, friend!

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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