Dealing with Unsupportive Family Members as an Autistic Person

Does anyone else deal with family members that aren't fond of you talking about being autistic? Anytime I accidentally talk about it a little too much or even just a little bit, she doesn't really seem to want to listen or care (she says she cares but It's hard to believe that at times). Instead, she'll say "You shouldn't let your autism define you." or "You say the word 'autistic' or 'autism' too much." Hearing those things makes it difficult for me to express myself or my needs and it makes me want to mask even more, and trust me, I know it isn't right to mask your autism, but that feels like my only option at times.

Your answer

SunInAugust

2y ago

Its classic ablisim on her part. Not that I doubt her love for you. There is a stigma. When there shouldn't be. Its the same as you talking about your haircolor. Its just as shame free and a natural part of you

Katty

2y ago

If she said “don’t let your autism define me” to me I personally would respond “don’t let being a women define you.” She would probably be confused and reply something along the lines of “but it does define me” or “I am a women.” Then ask “but why does it define you”. She’ll likely get irritated and then you’ve proven the point because “just like you are a women and it defines you I am autistic and it defines me. It is how my brain is wired and influences every aspect of how I interact with the world.” You don’t have to “be smart” if that’s not your style though.

Jade0132

2y ago

I would just say "it's a part of me, of course I'm going to mention it". My family members usually lay off after I explain the difficulties of being autistic and how it's something I was born with and can't change. Good luck with this!

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