Dealing with Unhelpful Doctors: Tips and Tricks

I do not know how to find a good doctor: haven’t done that yet. The key to getting doctors to listen you is to try and figure out why they aren’t. Are you not expressing pain or upset the way they think you should? If so try acting more in pain. Do they not see a solution? Make a spread sheet of your symptoms and possible things you think it could be along with tests they could run. There’s definitely other things but that’s the main 2 I can think of (other than prejudice). Tried and getting nowhere. Ask for a second opinion and tell the other doctor “I have serious consents about blank and do not feel as though the previous doctor was taking my concerns seriously.” Explain your symptoms, possible things you think it could be, and tests you would like them to run (or just symptoms if you didn’t do other research). If they deny you ask for specific reasons why. If you’re still not satisfied that they have done enough and they’re turning you away ask for it in writing that you came in with blank symptoms, blank concerns, and they ran no tests. It’s a little extreme, but opens them up for liability so they’ll probably run the tests. If not and something goes wrong you have grounds to sue them on negligence. [You could also skip tons of research and just organize your symptoms then follow the same steps] If you explain a bit more on how they’re not listing to you I may be able to give better advice.

Usually for doctors who don't listen the only thing that tends to help is doing my own research on the symptoms I have and diagnostic criteria for any of the conditions that match well enough that you would be tested by a doctor who actually does their job, then walking them through the symptoms you're showing using the exact same terms as you found during your symptoms search and in the diagnostic criteria until they come up with the idea to test you by themselves. The two most common issues over run into with bad doctors has been unwillingness to test for any "self diagnosed" illnesses, so if you think this is the case you shouldn't mention thinking you have the condition, you're seeking testing/treatment for, or really any condition just in case, and only use symptoms. If I had gone to any of my old doctors like I did to my current one and said the same "I think I have Lupus here are my symptoms" thing to them they would have outright refused to test based solely on the fact that that's what i think it is, no matter how many symptoms i have that match, they did that to me with scoliosis for multiple years during my teenhood until it was bad enough that they could feel how bad it got during a regular physical exam. The other issue is miscommunication/misunderstanding, sometimes if you don't use the exact terms they learned or find when they look your symptoms up they just don't make the connection and don't look into it. They also likely won't look into your record and combined any of your former symptoms with your current ones or connect that your former symptoms are still around/returned so it usually helps to remind them and mention an estimated time for how long it's been and how much outs returned it it applies. So for example sometimes saying "I've been feeling really tired and I have some pain lately" just gets you quick fixes and suggestions that may not actually adress the root of your issues but if you say "I've been fatigued and have some sharp joint pains for the past few weeks" that should hit all of the key terms that it brings up some more concern because they recognize the symptoms. Realistically in any case your best bet is to aim to get a referral to a specialist who actually knows what they're doing and has more experience with your symptoms. Aside from that the only ways I've searched for a new doctor is either blindly, or by meticulously going through online reviews. The latter worked a couple of time but didn't a few other times, it sucks having to go through so much effort and it still being hit or miss but sometimes it just takes awhile to find a doctor that works well for you.

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