Dealing with Trauma and Abandonment Issues

I've never had anyone in my life that was both trustworthy AND stayed more than a few years in my life. Usually people just stop being around me cold turkey, no explanation. So, trust...not something I do ever...sad, awful feeling though that I can't trust anyone but myself. My own father-in-law taught me the phrase NEVER TRUST ANYONE. He was great, but he died soon after I met him...and even he did things that I feel broke my trust...like he told my future husband to not marry me cause I had too much abuse in my past.

I feel ya. Same here. I think its easiest to heal in loving committed relationships and connection with others. You can do all the therapy in the world and read all the books but until someone proves to you they are going to stay thru all the messy bits I think your fear is so very valid and reasonable because we deeply need safe cosistent connection. Its good to work on self soothing and self reassurance but you cannot and will not heal abandonment wounds in a bubble. By the very nature of them you have to be connected to people.

I'm gonna be honest, I too have dealt with another of loss over the last 2 years. The only thing I think I can do is go to trauma therapy, I'm currently looking for providers. I suggest you do the same. Not dealing with it has caused a lot of problems for me, mentally and physically. If that's not an option I suggest talking to someone who makes you feel comfortable. I wish I had better advice. If you want to talk I'm open to it, I understand how difficult it can be to process grief and loss. I to have attachment issues. I genuinely feel on this subject .