I'm sorry hun. I have mdd and bpd too. It sucks but the only treatment is dbt therapy.

It can be hard at times, as you know. But I do believe that you can manage it over time. As Elianah mentioned, it can be helped with DBT. I am a part of a group online where there's BPD peer support and DBT if you're interested. I also try to do a lot of journaling (haven't done it in a while because I felt too crappy when I had COVID) to empty out your thoughts since I think we tend to ruminate a lot.

I struggled for years especially after working in mental health to admit I have bpd. I didn't always feel I met the criteria. There was too much negative stuff about it. But our society just minimizes things so much so you just reduce bpd to manipulative. I read a book recently and feel more the strong intense feelings and reactions to things, rejection, attachment issues. My symptoms over time changed a lot. I was diagnosed at 20...a cutter, once I graduated college mostly on disability, living in and out of hospitals...now I'm 41 and am a licensed social worker working with kids. Don't cut but in the past year have struggled a lot but still working too.