Dealing with Irritability: Seeking Advice

I've been super irritable as I haven't been below an 8 of pain in the last 2 months. I've been snapping at my close friends and my partner almost every day so I totally get it. I'm waiting for surgery September 30th that will hopefully help with the pain 🤞. So what I'm trying to say is I get it. When I realize that I've snapped I walk away for a bit to cool down, I check when I can take pain meds next as it's usually when they're wearing off that I lose my temper. But I also warn people ahead of time, try to stay on top of my meds, and every single time I snap after I've cooled off I come back and apologize profusely. I apologize, acknowledge that it's not okay to snap at them, and thank them for their patience with me. I also try to catch when I'm super irritable and walk away and do something on my own that brings me some peace before I return to people. Some of that has been a color by number app. It's the perfect amount of focus and that dopamine hit of finishing something helps with the pain a bit. Lately it's been a lot worse because I'm building a tolerance to my pain meds, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow where I'm going to ask for them to be increased because right now it's not okay. My friends understand that I'm not myself right now, and they understand my pain isn't my fault, but how I react to it is, so it's my responsibility to control it as much as I can, and do damage control for what I can't. Sometimes it means missing seeing the giraffes at the zoo because I need to calm down, sometimes it means "using the bathroom" when I don't need to release waste, but it's workable, and being around people is an important part of being human, and releases hormones that reduce pain. There are a lot of hormones that reduce pain. Some of them are released through touch with a loved one, so cuddle with a friend or partner if they're comfortable with it. Some are released by crying so watch that show that makes you cry by the end of every episode. Some are released by sex and self-stimulatuon so if you're comfy with it alone or with a consenting partner go have some fun. Some are released by completing things so be proud of yourself and celebrate every little win in your day. Some are released by good food so eat a snack if that fits in your health plan. Some are released by connecting with a good friend so give someone a call. There are little pain relieving things you can do that aren't medication. It's gonna suck, life just sucks sometimes, but if you look for the bright spots along the way, and apologize when you lash out from all the pain, you can make it through. One of my favorite parts of my day is listening to my partner explain what he worked on at work, not because I care about his work, but because I can see the joy light up his face and how proud he is. Maybe you're not feeling the joy yourself and that's okay, but looking for the joy in other people can be nice too. Sometimes, if you have the energy, doing something nice for someone can bring them joy and while they're lit up with all their joy you can bask in it and soak a little bit of it up. Simple things can make someone's day. Like showing them a funny picture, or grabbing them a snack when you get one for yourself, or making a funny noise at them across the room. It's going to be okay, pain sucks, but the little joys make it worth it to keep pushing.

Hey, I am the same way sometimes. When I feel very frustrated and are forced to hang with with people, I usually bring headphones and listen to music that helps. Sometimes background noise helps.

The best thing to do is communicate w them if you’re feeling irritable so they don’t take offense to it. If you’re able to communicate that, there is no foul against you and it should limit misunderstandings