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TheToothTakerTM

762d

I need help. my therapist is fairly incompetent and doesn't help us like at all. we have a like a main persecutor and he is a dickhead but I had a Conversation with him about recovery and he ended up just screaming at me. but like he's always felt guilty he dose a pretty shit job at hideing that but he won't act on it cuz in his words "it makes me happy knowing I have more power then you enough to make you cry if I really wanted" like he's just a dickhead. not 100% sure what to do with him is there any tips from older systems who've gone through tharapy for this and what's the first step since our psychologist just asked if we could "kick him out the system" 🧐 tf does that mean? no we can't eject Headmates like amung us blobs. anyway tips or DMS would be so highly appreciated thanks. - Toms

Top reply
    • beezle

      757d

      Honestly I hate the term persecutor. We use the term maligned protector, because that is what they are. They are trying to help the body in the way they know how, which can be recreating trauma as a way to cope. It's all they know. For me, learning about myself and self soothing eases the pressure. Usually it involves self soothing tactics and having lengthy conversations. It's not going to work at first. Your protector may be angry or stubborn. It's best to ask what they need. You may not be able to accommodate to what they need, so you'll have to find a way to work with your parts and meet halfway. After all, they are all parts of you. My maligned protector turned out to be a 12 year old who was just repeating what he knew. Sometimes they are a lot more vulnerable then they let on.

    • beezle

      757d

      Honestly I hate the term persecutor. We use the term maligned protector, because that is what they are. They are trying to help the body in the way they know how, which can be recreating trauma as a way to cope. It's all they know. For me, learning about myself and self soothing eases the pressure. Usually it involves self soothing tactics and having lengthy conversations. It's not going to work at first. Your protector may be angry or stubborn. It's best to ask what they need. You may not be able to accommodate to what they need, so you'll have to find a way to work with your parts and meet halfway. After all, they are all parts of you. My maligned protector turned out to be a 12 year old who was just repeating what he knew. Sometimes they are a lot more vulnerable then they let on.

    • bonemarreaux

      762d

      Wow that is horrific advice. Kick them out?? Yikes. So we have found that working with them (persecutors) and communicating with them as much as possible is important. Get to know them. Beyond the "mean" parts. Favorite things/their hopes and dreams/etc. Find things in the outside world they like. Concerts, clothing, foods, etc. Helping them know they are a valued part of the system is important. They might seem really really bad but they do what they do out of protection. (As twisted as their idea of protection might be) They are often trauma holders who have been through a lot. DM if you need more assistance.

    • EvanMoon

      762d

      Sorry ur therapist is a dick… that’s so disrespectful… sending y’all love

    • Lumen

      762d

      Will not aill*

    • Lumen

      762d

      Wow. Just wow. That's a whole new level of incompetent. Tbh, in our experience, we try to work with them and see how we can support them. You absolutely cannot kick a headmate out... like wut. Our experience aill not be your experience though.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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