Dealing with Grief and Depression: How Long is Too Long?

Grief is a long process! It helps to have a grief counselor help to guide you through the different stages and help you understand what you’re feeling.

My fiancé died two years ago. I’m dating again finally but there’s no day it’s over. I still ache worse some days. Take it moment by moment, love.

i know my situation is different, but i lost my 6 month kitten who served as my emotional support animal very suddenly. she went in for a routine surgery and reacted badly to the anesthesia. my parents told me i could get a new kitten and at first i didn’t want to because i felt like i was betraying my first kitty. when i really started to think about it, i knew that my kitty would’ve wanted me to be happy and give my love to another kitty. i really think that your best friend would want you to be happy and to give your love to another person. that doesn’t mean your love for her lessens, but the love within you grows to include another individual. so cliche but healing does take time. i have a new kitty now and he gives me so much joy and i give him so much love. he unknowingly was sick and malnourished when i adopted him and if my first kitty wouldn’t have died i wouldn’t have rescued this new kitty. he’s happy and healthy now and follows me everywhere! i of course miss my first kitty every day but i feel so blessed to have had the time i had with her - i pray this is the same with your best friend! she blessed your life so go live it :)

It is certainly a process but there is no timeline for grieving. Sometimes the grief will seem dormant and then suddenly it may come to the surface again (trigger or no trigger). The early stages of grief are the most difficult. We eventually adapt and evolve with our grief. I think it will always be with us but it can be managed with patience and acceptance.

I still shed tears when I think about him. Like right now.

Grief is something we all deal with differently. Also, I believe our grief is dependent upon how that person/animal/thing affected our lives. I lost my grandmother in 2009. She was like my mother. I till miss her, and still smile when I think of her. However, I had a guinea pig that I had a stronger bond with than any other pet I've ever had. He slept with me, he went everywhere with me, and after my first back surgery, my son took him from me to put him in his pen. He ran from my son and screamed whenever my son tried picking him up. We finally had to have my son bring him to me when I was home to get him over it. He passed in 2017. Over a year later I had a nervous breakdown and ended up in a spych hospital for 3 weeks. The root of it, stemmed back to the loss of him. So take your time, do what you need, and DO NOT feel guilty about feeling like that.

first of all, i am so sorry for your loss. i know she was a great person and you must miss her very much. one of my close friends died suddenly when i was 14, and im 17 now and it still hurts. what helps me is remembering that they are still in my heart even though they're gone. she still lives on in your memories. it's gonna hurt for a while and there's no way around that. feel your pain and don't be ashamed of it. but, when grief began to impact my life and i stopped doing things i loved and began to be depressed, i remembered that she wouldn't want me to be depressed. she would want me to move on and she would want me to do things i enjoy. that's one thing that helped me.

Gosh, I could write a book on this. It never ends, it just becomes less sharp, more like an ache rather than a stab to the heart. Oh, but does it take time. Whether you grow around it, or it gets smaller-it will take time and that is what makes it so hard. What I can say is feel your feelings now, don’t try to shove them down or keep them at bay. Don’t try to self-medicate them away. Talk to someone. Just keep going. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel-it’s just that everyone’s path is different.

Definitely never goes away. Especially when it’s sudden. It’s hard when you expect it, harder when you don’t because you don’t get a proper goodbye. Lost my dad when I was 19, we knew it was going to happen. I still grieve him to this day and I’m 32. Lost two of my dogs in a year that I’ve raised from puppies and one being unexpected and I still wail like it just happened. Give yourself some time. Feel your feelings. Loss isn’t easy, hard to go on knowing they aren’t but you have to. Love for them, do things that would make them proud. Remember them. They will always be a part of you and just know they’re still here.

I've heard that grief never goes away or gets any smaller. It stays in you, it's the love you have for someone who's no longer there to receive it. But we can grow from our grief, and learn how to give that love for them to other things. Use the love you have for them to do things you know would've made them happy, and remember that wherever they are now, they still love you too