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I recently lost my wife of 35 years to cancer. My depression doesn't completely stem from that, but it definitely added to it. It's pretty complicated, how I'm feeling. One issue I am having is the constant craving for intimacy. I'm not just talking about sex. I'm talking about connecting with someone on a deep level. A good description would be like the after glow, after sex, I guess. I'm having a hard time describing it. Where I married my best friend, intimacy was not really her strong suit. We had great sex but there wasn't really the intimacy that I'm trying to describe. I hope that makes sense to whoever is reading this. I crave intimacy so much I find my heart reaching out to women on TV ads, even. It isn't hard for an ad for a dating app to get their hooks into me. What has saved me, to this point, is I don't have the money they want. My last issue I want to post here is... I loved my wife. Like I said before, she was my best friend and partner in every sense of the word. I lost her only 2 months ago, yet I already find myself searching dating apps, falling for Instagram scams, etc. I don't want to dishonor the memory of my wife. I really did love her, but I find myself with this craving. Is it too soon? Am I dishonoring her memory?

    • sammy1988


      I'm sorry for your loss..I understand what your saying and I wouldn't start to look so soon..Their are so many woman out there that will use your situation to hurt you and it will just make everything worse..Take your time and just like you are doing be honest with yourself and others..Don't be taken advantage of also..Do you believe in God..If so Read your Bible If not all you have to do is confess with your mouth and believe with your heart that Jesus died on that cross FOR YOU.So you don't have to live in sadness and pain..I am praying that You stand strong against the temptation That your up against..And I don't believe anything will take away the memory of your wife or dishonor her..Just slow down and grieve ..When it's time it will happen .You will know..

      • tjnorman49


        @sammy1988 Thank you for your kind words. I was beginning to think nobody was on this site. I understand about people who take advantage of others for personal gain. Being vulnerable makes one an easy mark. In this time of desperation, more people than not will engage in inscrupulous behavior to try to get to the other side of "poverty". It's amazing how high the "poverty" line is these days. That and the amount of people whose sole intention is to become filthy rich with the least amount of effort, is reaching epic proportions. Heck, these people only have one goal in life, and that's to become rich. Anyway, I hear what you're saying. I just crave intimacy. I will never dishonor the memory of my best friend and life partner, it's just that the loneliness becomes overwhelming. I feel lonely in a room full of people. Where I am not religious, (religion is the number one reason for war, more than any other) I believe in the spirit. I believe Jesus died for our sins. I believe in a higher consciousness. I just don't turn my attention that way, as much as I probably should. I really don't have an avenue other than myself. I don't talk to priests due to my thinking them to be nothing but hypocrites. Some of the worst kind of people out there consider themselves Christian. Like the people I described in that first paragraph. Thank you for reaching out. It means more to me than you may know.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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One of the replies to a similar situation suggests that it's normal to feel lonely and crave intimacy after losing a spouse. It's not necessarily dishonoring her memory, as everyone has their own pace for grieving and moving on. It's important to take one day at a time and seek comfort in knowing that you'll see your loved ones again. It might be helpful to find support from family or friends, or even seek professional help if the feelings of loneliness and depression persist.

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night sweats





Anxiety (Including GAD)