Dealing with Anxiety and Control Issues

Monstrously_witty- Me too. I get so consumed by being late that I'm just so upset and probably not fun to be around 😬

Catnapper69- My therapist has told me the same thing. Thank you for that reminder 💜

Yup this is very extreme for me. My Interactions with people become very weird when I am in such a state.

For me I experience a ton of anxiety around this but it comes out as anger 😓 I’ve tried to reframe my self talk to not expect so much perfection from myself but I want to hold myself accountable too. Something my therapist helps with is talking through my worries about some situation and trying to parse if it’s a logical fear or something to try to let go of. Like do you have a job where being early is expected of you? Or is that something you or those close to you value highly? Personally my dad was always late to picking me up or to show up for things so I get anxious if I’m late that I’ll hurt someone’s feelings or let them down.

Wise- Just recently I've started to realize that I have experienced some trauma. A lot of psychiatrists have asked about if I've experienced trauma and until this post year I didn't think so. However now it looks like I most likely have. Thank you for your advice and I wish the same to you 💜

Honestly going low contact with my father (who was controlling to the point where it was abusive, among other things) has helped immensely. Living away from my mother also helped me and our relationship is much better than it was when I still lived with her. You might benefit from a therapist who specializes in childhood trauma if you're struggling on your own. I hope you find peace and strength in your journey ❤️

Wise- Yep, my mom was very controlling. I hope I can get to where you are with it ♥️

Did you grow up with controlling or chronically late parents? I have a similar struggle, but I know it's because my mom has ADHD so we were always late to everything. Imagine my surprise when I found out being early all the time is the exact same symptom as being late- time blindness. I get super irritated when my partner (whose ADHD is remarkably similar to my mother's) doesn't get ready when I KNOW he needs to, but I also give him a huge time window so he's not screwed when he takes longer than he thought he would. I've taken to just letting go of the emotional response to other people's behavior and hoping the people waiting for us at our destination are okay with me being 10-15 minutes late. Worst case, they're not, which usually just means rescheduling an appointment. Everything is okay. And then I just repeat that to myself over and over and focus more on my breathing than I ever have in my life

Emogirl2002- I can definitely understand that. I also have really bad social anxiety and I'm the same way. I honestly only have the same friends I've had for years because I just have such a hard time talking to people I don't know.

Yeah, my mom was very strict to the point where I feel like I’d rather wait on people than have them wait on me. If I’m not at least 30 minutes early for an appointment then I’ll get shaky and want to cancel. Plus because of the way my narcissistic mother raised me I have really bad social anxiety and I bottle up my anxiety when I’m around people so it makes it 150 times worse when I actually have a panic attack

MissUni- Yeah I think so. Dialectics really help because it helps me realize that not everything is black and white there is a gray area. I have learned a lot of really great cope tools from DBT I would definitely look into it 😊

MissUni- That's actually a really good way to think about that 🙂 I do DBT but I think CBT would also be helpful. Thank you so much for sharing, that was really helpful 💜

AlanaH- Same here. People think I'm just being over dramatic or don't take it seriously. Luckily my husband is very understanding.

Caringklutz- glad it’s not just me I’ve been dealing with it for years and my family doesn’t get it

AlanaH- Yeah I really feel the part about not being good. I feel like I've failed and I'm worthless.

I relate to this like I’ll get road rage because I have the anxiety of being late, kinda like if I’m late I’m no good and I won’t amount to anything. Also control

Oof I'm sorry you can relate. I've never heard anyone else who has struggled with this though so it's good to know I'm not alone

I feel you so much it’s insane how much I relate to this post

blakelivelyissupreme-I've struggled with situations like that as well. Thank you so much for sharing 💕

never be able to know which class*

i do get them when i feel like i shoudve done smth and i didn’t. one time this guy in my class was talking to someone about an essay for the class they had the next day. later at night it bothered me so much that i would “never” be able to know. even thought i could’ve asked the next day (which i did). i had a panic attack at night when i was trying to sleep. i also have issues w control 💕 💕