Dealing with Clashing Disabilities: Seeking Advice

my mom and I are both disabled or close to it but in different ways that clash with each other. do any of you have a similar situation? how do you deal with it? she has chronic pain from scoliosis and her hearing and eyesight are getting bad as she gets older. she also has some mental illnesses but she's managing them well and I don't want to put all her information on the Internet so I will leave it at that. you can see what I have in my profile but the thing that needs clarification is that I don't have regular catatonia, I have catatonia type breakdown in autism which means I'm regressing from level 1 to about 2 and I've lost a lot of basic skills, in addition to not being able to move sometimes. right now we're watching TV and we're actually watching a cartoon that I like, usually we watch a live action show like she likes but I like some live action things too. we try to compromise on volume because that's easy to change, but what she can barely hear is painfully loud for me. the screen brightness is hidden in the settings and we keep it where she can see. I'm wearing sunglasses right now. she has a hard time remembering things, either brain fog from pain or because she's getting old. I can't speak and have a hard time putting my thoughts into writing or words on my AAC device unless it's something I've been thinking about a lot (I have been scripting this post for like a week). she needs to be told things multiple times but I can't even say a lot of things once. I need a lot of help and structure but I don't get that because she works most of the time. and we're both always tired. some days I can feed myself or even walk our dog if it's planned out and I have energy and my checklists but other days I'm on my phone until I can't put up with it anymore and then I stare into space for an hour or half sleep. it's not my depression though, I still want to die and all that but there are still things I want to do, I just can't put the steps together to do them and they're blocked. it's really frustrating and then I get so upset I have a freezing episode and I can't even shift positions for half an hour or scratch an itch. she's really supportive in the ways she can be and she believes me. she's the only person who doesn't treat me like a little kid. I'm glad I have her over other people's parents but it's hard because I'm more than she can handle.