Dealing with Anxiety and Depression Diagnoses

the thing is, even if you have your depression and anxiety under control, you still have them. i know being diagnosed can be hard to deal with. but there's a reason these tests are flagging you for the disorders. are you still having other symptoms that aren't as obvious as direct sadness and anxiety?

I understand where you're coming from. My neurologist was saying that my not being able to understand my emotions is because of the FND but like chief growing up with depression means you don't get to experience the emotions you're supposed to and your parents yelling at you when you get emotional doesn't help with the ability to feel them. I'm a very logical person I live and have lived my entire life in my mind and to tell me that this new thing that developed is the cause of something I've had almost my whole life just doesn't sit right with me. I'm not a neurologist and I don't want to upset her but I read her notes and also she focused more on my history of depression than what I was there for, tics.

that's just the thing though I don't have crying spells and I don't feel overwhelmed. It's just an intrusive thought here and there. I have my comfort devices, I made friends, I hang out with them when we can, I have a crush and everything. The only thing parents wise that I have problems with is my mom who is almost constantly yelling or seems annoyed at everything. I love my dad, sure I have had moments where I didn't like him but that's cause he did dad things, "do the chores that I ask you to," and, "get off your laptop and do something." Normal dad stuff. I watch shows with him, ask him questions and what not. But he doesn't think mental health is a thing and my mom just doesn't want to hear about it. Heck even my sister's turned me away because "it's not something they're going through." I'm leaving that house and my older sister, who isn't one of the ones mentioned, is letting me move in with her. My mental health has pretty much been solved already and I'm fine-ish. The ish is for the fact I can't stop feeling like a faker because of my tics and then I feel attention seeking because I keep thinking it might be tourettes since FND doesn't fit. I left FND out of my diagnosises because I'm going to bring it up to my neurologist. I know she's probably going to be mad because I haven't gone and seen a psychologist there are just none in my area. And I went to see the physical therapist and she said she couldn't help me because I wasn't displaying the typical symptoms they see in FND patients. I hate being in this grey area of diagnosises.

I completely understand this. I’m still learning about emotions at 20!!!! I didn’t even know what it meant to like or dislike something til 19. I always thought it was a ‘thinking’ thing, not a feeling thing. I can’t even tell you how blind I was to things everybody knows…all cuz I was treating ‘normalcy’ like a rubric, and literally no one caught on! Looking back, depression caused me to have about 2.5 emotions my whole life. I’m discovering a ton more now. I have my depression pretty well organized into my life too. People are under the impression that those with depression can’t feel comfortable with it. I mean, I love the way my kinda delusional anxiety gives me comfort. If I make sure this or that route will ‘prevent something bad’, somehow it feels like I have control over bad things. Who wouldn’t want to have control over bad things? I will say, a lot of my anxiety does cause me problems, but the emotional denial kept me away from even sensing the anxiety. It bothers me a lot more, now, which helps a lot in helping me make progress. The more I handle my anxiety, the more the depression seems to be less and less often. I was 95% depressed/neutral/empty all the time. I’d say that’s at a 60% now, where 40% of the time I think like and understand the neurotypical person.

Anxiety and depression are actually fairly common. I put off finding a medication because I thought I could handle it myself. It means I have issues enjoying normal things that make most parents happy. I got on Zoloft recently to help with crying spells. Anxiety can make someone feel overwhelmed to where it seems like they just cry too easily like me over simple things. Welcome to talk to me as I have both problems that you do in common. Maybe we can find a solution together. I could always use a comfort buddy myself.