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alyssa25

562d

I have agoraphobia and austim and my boyfriend is constantly asking me to talk to his family by going in the living room but I struggle so hard with this. My safe place is our bedroom. He keeps saying I have to push myself and I'll learn to like it. How has anyone forced themselves into social situations? I'm just comfy and happy in our bedroom and never want to leave

Top reply
    • FTW

      562d

      He's right. You have to face those feelings. However he shouldn't force you. It should be at your pace.

    • CherryBonBon

      561d

      That’s not fair for you. It’s important for him to meet you half way. Maybe agree to be in the living room with his family while his family is watching something so they don’t interact with you as much. Then maybe he can find common ground and watch something that you AND the family like and IF there is conversation that makes it a bit more easier. I had the same issue and so I always make sure to time when I’m around my partner’s family and it’s easier and I get less anxious when they’re actively distracted.

    • peeka

      561d

      set a goal, maybe it's sitting in the living room for 1 minute. Or 5 minutes. And then heading back to your room

    • Officialishness

      561d

      Unfortunately there is a grain of truth - the only real cure for a phobia is graded exposure therapy. However you have to have a tool box of coping skills you are comfortable using before you start, and you have to go at a set pace - jumping into your fear can cause more harm than good. I would do research on GET and also mention it to your treatment team if you have one. It’s uncomfortable and terrifying sometimes, but overtime you will learn to be comfortable and happy in places and situations that you are terrified of now. No one deserves to live in fear , hope this helps a bit 💕

    • KittyRosa

      561d

      We all have to go outside our comfort zones and push ourselves. But that's jsut it. We need to do it ourselves. I find situations like this are easier to do when I take it in small bites. For jnstance maybe try spending short bursts of time with your boyfriend by your side, maybe you can hold hands. It's important that you find a way to do this that is also comfortable to do and as time goes on, whatever that time frame may be a day a week or just whatever time feels righr even if it means two weeks this time and three days the next time, or maybe you can try hold something comforting in your hand

    • DitsyDiabetic

      562d

      Yeah I’m still working on this for myself too. I’m about to get diagnosed with ASD as well. And i have severe bipolar 1. It’s really tricky for me to engage socially too. If you ever wanna talk about it my inbox is open 💜

    • FTW

      562d

      He's right. You have to face those feelings. However he shouldn't force you. It should be at your pace.

      • alyssa25

        562d

        @FTW thank you have you had any experience in forcing yourself to do things that don't make you comfortable?

        • FTW

          562d

          @alyssa25 Absolutely. Getting out of the house is the number 1 problem I had. Now, I can say I have climbed mountains and met fascinating people across the United States. It wasnt easy, though. It all started with a therapist and how have the confidence to look people in the eyes. I didnt used to be able to do that, but I learned how.

    • peeka

      562d

      I don't deal with ASD. But when I was terrified of leaving my apartment, I had voices telling me to get out. I feeling they're along the lines of how your boyfriend acts. Yes, forcing myself outside to go a little thing, day by day, got easier. It takes a while though.

      • alyssa25

        562d

        @peeka thank you any tips?

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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