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hcfr

Updated 10mo ago

Coping with Relationship Anxiety

What are some good coping skills when I feel anxious about my relationships?

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yoman

2y

I usually just try to find the difference between is it my feelings? Or is it a logical concern. Like if you’re nervous that he/she is going out with their friends just think is it a logical concern like have they had a history of not being loyal? Or they are loyal and you’re just getting your feelings get the best of you. This used to happen to me all the time btw!
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purplekitty2303

2y

i deal with a lot of intrusive thoughts around my relationship, even though i have an amazing boyfriend. sometimes, the best thing you can do is just push it aside. for example, a thought may come into my head that he doesn’t love me anymore, which there is absolutely no reason for me to believe that. i acknowledge that it’s an intrusive thought, and then consciously redirect my attention to something else, like reading a book or playing a video game. other times, i like to go through the facts of the situation. again, i may have an intrusive thought that he doesn’t love me. i’ll just go through all the things he does that prove to me he loves me, like bringing me a coffee after a class, buying me a gift, etc. my approach really depends on the thought and what headspace i’m in in the moment, so just see what works best for you. :) however, something i’ve been working on a lot is NOT asking him for validation. not only will that not help these thoughts go away, it adds a lot of unnecessary stress to him. i let him know that i’m dealing with these thoughts and working on them, but i don’t ask for reassurance that he loves me. this can just fuel the thoughts more, and at the end of the day, i should not need to ask 24/7 if he loves me. i know this is all a LOT easier said than done, but i’ve been working on it a lot these past few months. i feel that it’s really helped our relationship and overall made both of us happier! :)
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hcfr

2y

I really appreciate both of these comments, they are spot on with how i’m feeling. Thank you so much!
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Iona

2y

Think about all the reasons why you enjoy your significant other. Do they make you smile? Do their words help you feel safe ? Surely, if you two are together, there is something you do that brightens their life,attracting them towards you :) we can be our own worst enemy sometimes but we are always capable of making mental connections within some sort of self control.

The content in this post is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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