Coping with Relationship Anxiety

Think about all the reasons why you enjoy your significant other. Do they make you smile? Do their words help you feel safe ? Surely, if you two are together, there is something you do that brightens their life,attracting them towards you :) we can be our own worst enemy sometimes but we are always capable of making mental connections within some sort of self control.

I really appreciate both of these comments, they are spot on with how i’m feeling. Thank you so much!

i deal with a lot of intrusive thoughts around my relationship, even though i have an amazing boyfriend. sometimes, the best thing you can do is just push it aside. for example, a thought may come into my head that he doesn’t love me anymore, which there is absolutely no reason for me to believe that. i acknowledge that it’s an intrusive thought, and then consciously redirect my attention to something else, like reading a book or playing a video game. other times, i like to go through the facts of the situation. again, i may have an intrusive thought that he doesn’t love me. i’ll just go through all the things he does that prove to me he loves me, like bringing me a coffee after a class, buying me a gift, etc. my approach really depends on the thought and what headspace i’m in in the moment, so just see what works best for you. :) however, something i’ve been working on a lot is NOT asking him for validation. not only will that not help these thoughts go away, it adds a lot of unnecessary stress to him. i let him know that i’m dealing with these thoughts and working on them, but i don’t ask for reassurance that he loves me. this can just fuel the thoughts more, and at the end of the day, i should not need to ask 24/7 if he loves me. i know this is all a LOT easier said than done, but i’ve been working on it a lot these past few months. i feel that it’s really helped our relationship and overall made both of us happier! :)

I usually just try to find the difference between is it my feelings? Or is it a logical concern. Like if you’re nervous that he/she is going out with their friends just think is it a logical concern like have they had a history of not being loyal? Or they are loyal and you’re just getting your feelings get the best of you. This used to happen to me all the time btw!