Coping with Grief: Missing My Dad Every Day

hi I have qustion I am daughter and use to be caregiver to my dad he past away June 27 2023 7:31 pm I held him in my arms I loved him more than anything in world. I am recovering from all this and responsibilitys of being adult but hard part is I miss him every day I waken up every morning 4.30am and hear him say to me get up time start the day you have thing do places go people see but it's hard know when battling my first cold with out him. I'm trying go thew his things and it's hard when I find thing taken with out my knowing or thrown away by are landlord while I was in hospital June 28th 2023 to July 10 2023 and I had my stuff stolen police did nothing dropped charges but it's just things he always say. I'm alone I have new family but I feel like I'm in box walls moving toward me crushing me I show I'm OK I try make self better fight it but deep down I feel like I'm still there holding him watching him take his last breath that night I felt like I died with him and he's watching me up there man upstairs but I wish I was there with him and mom and there family instead down hear alive and breathing I don't tell anyone this because thy put me back in hospital and I been there once and I don't want go back it show to my new family I'm failing instead recovering what should I do fight this