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dryad

743d

are any of you guys younger? I'm 22 and have been dealing with my fatigue/other illnesses for a few years now and it's so alienating not being able to do what other people my age can... How do you cope? Have you found other people you can relate to? I live in a small town and sometimes I feel really hopeless that I'll never find a place where I fit in or belong

Top reply
    • Serenity_1142

      727d

      I’m 26 and I’ve been sick for now close to two years. I have lost soooo many friends and recently my bf too. As more time passes by, I feel more alone and alienated that people don’t invite me because they don’t want to deal with all the accommodations I need. It’s hard to see people going out that I used to be close to and they never invite me anymore. I feel very alone and wonder if I’ll be able to make friends who don’t make me feel like a burden and I don’t have to over explain myself every time. Even with dating, they focus a lot in my limitations and what they will miss out while dating me, instead of seeing me and my capabilities and learning to do things differently and more creatively. I grieve it everyday the people who left and who decided not to get know me because of my disability. And i cope with it, by thinking about what I have now and who is still here. All I think even though right now I feel hopeless and I feel I won’t find a group of friends that understand me, i still still try to hope there are people out there who will accept me for me and not what I can do. I have to believe that and that’s what I’ve been doing to get through. I see the love and support I’m surrounded right now and I use my will and strength to keep trying and hoping that there are people who can love me for me I just need to put myself in proximity to them. I honestly don’t have the best answer for this, but I do share your pain and I’m sorry you are dealing with this too. You aren’t alone in this.

    • Serenity_1142

      727d

      I’m 26 and I’ve been sick for now close to two years. I have lost soooo many friends and recently my bf too. As more time passes by, I feel more alone and alienated that people don’t invite me because they don’t want to deal with all the accommodations I need. It’s hard to see people going out that I used to be close to and they never invite me anymore. I feel very alone and wonder if I’ll be able to make friends who don’t make me feel like a burden and I don’t have to over explain myself every time. Even with dating, they focus a lot in my limitations and what they will miss out while dating me, instead of seeing me and my capabilities and learning to do things differently and more creatively. I grieve it everyday the people who left and who decided not to get know me because of my disability. And i cope with it, by thinking about what I have now and who is still here. All I think even though right now I feel hopeless and I feel I won’t find a group of friends that understand me, i still still try to hope there are people out there who will accept me for me and not what I can do. I have to believe that and that’s what I’ve been doing to get through. I see the love and support I’m surrounded right now and I use my will and strength to keep trying and hoping that there are people who can love me for me I just need to put myself in proximity to them. I honestly don’t have the best answer for this, but I do share your pain and I’m sorry you are dealing with this too. You aren’t alone in this.

    • ScrubLord

      727d

      I have just turned 30, have had chronic fatigue for years and was diagnosed with MS at the age of 28, right after my son was born. I now use a cane at night and need an arm brace due to my disease. Being young and so sick has humbled me.. it used to make me so depressed. I've now grown to accept this as who I am, and fight to keep up with everyone my age. I take a fist full of pills at night and fall asleep driving..We need to try harder than everyone else in order to seem normal, usually with an invisible disability. However, I truly believe your soul is still youthful no matter if we are 20 or 90. My body hates me, but my soul loves who I am inside. This disease has really opened my eyes to the struggles of other people, when I never used to understand like I do now. Self acceptance isn't easy, but when it comes it will set you free.

    • stardust_1999

      731d

      I am also 22. My fiance does not have any chronic illness ( I hope he never does) he tries his best to be understanding and to try to help and I appreciate it. I do feel that there is only so much that one that doesn't struggle with chronic illness can actually understand about it. I don't know anybody my age personally that struggles with chronic illnesses as we do. I'm looking into trying out a mobility aid, but I'm so nervous for it. My fiance is supportive, but being 22, I'm worried about my older relatives gaslighting me about it. But there are days when I really need the extra support. I really hope that you find medications, or devices that will help you have more good days. I know I am trying to do that myself.

    • malibucat777

      739d

      almost jr in hs now and been sick since 7th grade. I feel like I missed out on half of my childhood and i’m never going to have the chance to get that back. I don’t get out often meet up with friends maybe twice a month but i’ve made many awesome online friends through gaming who help keep me company !

    • margaretscarry

      739d

      Ive had disabilities since i was born but the more mobility and life affecting physical ones like cfs since i was like a teen. Im just 24. I totally relate. It doesnt matter how many years you have on you its always gonna feel like that becuz shame and stigma. But youre doing what youre capable of and thats the truth. Youre doing a great job. And there's an overwhelmingly larger number of people just like you in your age range. Youre not alone. Youre doing good. I promise.

    • CactusCat

      739d

      25. Fatigue started when i was about 10, but wasn't as bad then. I feel so behind in life and so aged at the same time because of it... I don't really have any answers yet--I'm only just beginning to really seek help and it feels futile a lot of the time. Here with you for the journey, though! I know it's not the same as having in-person friends... But at least it can be somewhat relieving sharing a burden with somebody, even if it's online.

    • fxrest.faxrie

      742d

      I'm 22, I've been dealing with CFS and POTS since I was like 16. Really, the only way I'm able to cope is to rest as much as I can and hope to the gods that I won't be in too much pain. Something that calms me down is coloring and painting and writing. I haven't found too many people I can relate to for the physical issues, but I have for the mental issues. I'm always here if you need to talk.

    • MatchaBunn

      742d

      You are not alone! I have lived with this condition for my whole life, but not had words for it until just recently (the last couple years). The grief of not being able to do what others do still comes up for me. But like loveshespoke said, you also learn ways in which you can excel with your differences. It’s still hard to come up against the grief, but if you can learn to appreciate what you can do, I think it becomes easier to sort of live vicariously through others’ experiences. Like, I used to compare myself to others a lot, but now I try to see the ways in which everyone is doing what is right for them. I love seeing people doing things that they like/want to do, and I try to take joy from that moment instead of judgement. It’s valid to feel however you need to. Give it time and you’re going to find others like you. In many different ways.

    • loveshespoke

      743d

      I am 28, but I've been dealing with my symptoms since 13, so I definitely relate. For me, I had to grieve the possibilities for a long time, accept some of my limitations and walk away from the shame associated with them, and eventually recognize the ways in which my circumstances make me more qualified for certain things than other people. Like, ultimately, I can't have a shot of tequila, but I probably have a greater capacity for empathy than some of my peers. You know?

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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